So You Want to Be Published

A new place for writing information and more: NEW SITE!

2010-08-02T12:42:00.002-05:00

I've launched a new look, providing more help for those who are overcoming a difficult past at the new and improved MaryDeMuth.com. I'd love your feedback!

So stop on by. Leave a comment. Linger. Read the archives. Share your own thin places story, a time when God came near, here.

For all you writers out there: Find out how you can write a powerful nonfiction or fiction book proposal here.

Find a listing of all my speaking topics, including new ones about healing from the past, here.

Like photos and photography? Here's a recent listing of my photos.

Don't know what to fix for dinner? All my recipes from A Daily Recipe are on this site. Click on Recipes on the upper part of the site to see over 90 recipes.

And if you'd like to read even more about writing, publishing, and the writing world, click the Writing link on the top of the site.

With joy,
Mary DeMuth
founder of Wannabepublished

You're the Reason I created this blog! Thank you!

2010-05-14T03:40:00.021-05:00

Dear, dear Wannabepublished writers,

What a blessing it's been to write this blog (and bring others along to write and share their expertise). I've learned so much, and had entirely too much fun sharing my heart and my journey with you. I wish I could continue mentoring you here, but, alas, my time has slipped from me, and I'm learning to say no.

I do hope you've learned a lot.

I am walking forward, setting my heart on a new path, hoping to mentor folks toward wholeness now. I'm passionate about telling stories (my story, yours, fictional stories) that help people heal and to finally realize they are not alone. That's my mission and heart. It's been beating a long time, and I'm giving myself permission to walk in that calling.

I hope you fly. I hope you publish. But more than that, I hope you find your calling. God has uniquely gifted each of you in cool, surprising, you-shaped ways. Don't shrink back from that calling, no matter how small it may seem or how impossibly large it looms. Do it. Walk it. Be it.

Dare to write the truth. If I could leave you with one thing, it's that. Risk. Be fearless. Give yourself permission to write it all. Trust God for big things. Be a truth-bearer without shame.

I'll keep this blog up for all of you who want to explore the archives. And if you have the chance, let me know about your journey. I'd love to hear how this blog has mentored you toward publication. If you have a success to share, please do so in the comments section so we can all rejoice with you.

I'll be penning a monthly column about writing at Novel Journey the second Thursday of the month. My first post is here. I'll also be guest blogging at Rachelle Gardner's blog the 4th Tuesday of the month. And since writing is so much of who I am, I'll be posting about it at my main blog, relevantblog. Be sure to sign up to receive that blog. Another place to find me is to sign up for my monthly free ezine, Inside Renewal here.

And, stay tuned for a possible E-book with the BEST of Wannabepublished. Wouldn't it be nice to have all that information in one place? If I can organize it, I'll publish it.

It's been a privilege, a joy, to serve you.

With peace,

Mary DeMuth

D'Ann and Leslie say goodbye

2010-05-13T05:40:00.021-05:00

When Mary asked me to help provide the Free Critique Per Week on this blog, I’ll admit I said yes with some fear and trepidation. Not that I didn’t have experience—I’ve been writing seriously for ten years and have been critiquing Mary’s work on a weekly basis for seven years. But critiquing in private is quite different from putting something out there in a public forum! That’s why I so admire every person that sent in a sample to be critiqued. I know how hard that is.

Because of your courage, you have helped not only yourself become a better writer, but others, too. I know it isn’t easy to hear the weaknesses in your writing. I still get that myself. But it is necessary in order to grow, to get better, to move toward publication. I hope you have made some step forward in that process, no matter how slight, because of your time spent reading this blog.

Thank you for bearing with me as I learned to interact with you. It has been an unexpected joy. May the Lord bless each of you as you continue your writing journey.

I so agree, D'Ann. I've also enjoyed examining people's pitches these past months.

I once heard an editor say that every single person will eventually be published, as long as he or she doesn't give up before that time. When you embark on such a competitive--and, at times, heart-breaking--journey, you have to be prepared for criticism. However, it's that criticism that helps us improve. So, first of all, thanks for putting yourselves, and your work, out there. Thanks for trusting us at The Writing Spa to read and provide feedback on your pet projects. Thanks for being transparent; that's the way God can use us best!

Some of you may be wondering: OK, where do I go from here? What am I going to do now that I don't have Mary's daily wisdom? Well, you're going to keep writing. Set a minimum word count for yourself. You're going to read books on writing. Some of you need to join (or start) a critique group. Find community with fellow writers who understand the joys and heartache of this business. But, most of all, continually give over your words, your talent, your craft to the Lord--allowing Him to direct you in the way He wants you to go.

Blessings to each of you. We'll miss you very much.
Leslie Porter Wilson
http://www.lesliewilson.com/

Free Critique Per Week: Avoid summarizing

2010-05-12T05:14:00.030-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Lostariel writes

Tristan crossed his broadswords over his head. Their weight would daunt any other youth of thirteen; Tristan only inhaled as he watched dust settle around his feet. It churned again as Tristan’s opponent used the younger warrior’s pause to advance.

Tristan’s head shot up while his swords flashed down with a mighty clang. He never hesitated. He did not defend, but dealt thrust after thrust, twisting his blades and limber body to meet every challenge. His strength was not in finesse but in constant attack. Though Tristan was by far the smaller of the two, the sheer speed, force, and raw skill of his swordplay drove his opponent back. Through all this the boy merely stared forward, dripping sweat but betraying no emotion in his concentration.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

Tristan crossed his broadswords over his head. Their weight would daunt any other youth of thirteen; but Tristan only inhaled as he watched the dust settle around his feet. It churned again as Tristan’s his opponent used the younger warrior’s (bit of a POV shift here. I doubt 13 yr old Tristan would think of himself as "the younger warrior". You could just delete it altogether.) pause to advance.

Tristan’s head shot up while as his swords flashed down with a mighty clang. He never hesitated. He did not defend, but dealt thrust after thrust, twisting his blades and limber body to meet every challenge. His strength was not in finesse but in constant attack. Though Tristan was by far the smaller of the two, the sheer speed, force, and raw skill of his swordplay drove his opponent back. Through all this the boy merely stared forward, dripping sweat but betraying no emotion in his concentration.

Not bad, but I think it could be much stronger. There is much "told" in the second paragraph about the swordfight that could be shown. "His swords flashed down with a mighty clang" is great, but after that, we basically get a summary of his actions in battle. Can you take us into more detail? Can you show his strength and offensive by the moves he makes as well as how they affect his opponent? How old is the opponent? That seems like it would be important to know as well and clues could be shown in the course of the action. Use what you've written as kind of an outline. For each sentence of summary, see if you can show those things in describing an action or a reaction by him or his opponent.

Keep working and you'll have an exciting opening!

Life in Defiance releases today!

2010-05-11T08:05:00.009-05:00

For those of you waiting to find out the conclusion of the Defiance, TX trilogy, today's the day to find out. Order the book here. Enjoy!

Free Critique Per Week: Deep POV

2010-05-11T05:11:00.030-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Miriam Cheney writes

Chapter 1

The moment Jamison Tully steered his Monaco 42 through breakwaters and into the morning calm of Long Beach bay, his cell phone rang. Less than 30 seconds back into call range, someone needed him. Ignoring the insistent, blues-guitar ring tone, he started the boat’s engine, lowered her sails, and guided the Sandra Ann into its slip at the dock.

The iPhone’s red message light pulsing like a warning beacon, James unclipped it from his belt and scanned seven missed calls. One from Sean, his best friend and partner at the brokerage. Six from his grandma. His ulcer flamed. The catalyst—as always—a woman.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

Chapter 1

The moment Jamison Tully steered his Monaco 42 through breakwaters and into the morning calm of Long Beach bay, his cell phone rang. Less than 30 seconds back into call range, someone needed him. Ignoring the insistent, blues-guitar ring tone, he started the boat’s engine, lowered her sails, and guided the Sandra Ann (boat names are italicized) into its slip at the dock.

The iPhone’s red message light pulsing like a warning beacon., (It just seemed to read easier breaking it into two sentences. The other construction was a bit awkward) James unclipped it from his belt and scanned seven missed calls. One from Sean, his best friend and partner at the brokerage. Six from (his grandma). (To put us in deep POV here, address "his grandma" as he would. What does he call her? It's okay if it doesn't immediately convey "grandama" to the reader. It appears that all we need to know at the moment is that it is a woman. Might be more intriguing to the reader at this point to just know that and not necessarily the relationship of Jamison and the calling woman. Of course, if he always calls her Grandma, have him refer to her that way, and that is fine, too. But the point is to dig us deeper into Jamison's point of view by speaking of his grandma in exactly the way he would think of her.) His ulcer flamed. The catalyst—as always—a woman.

I really like this. It has some good conflict brewing in the background. Get us deeper into that POV as mentioned above and that will intensity things even more. And I'm thinking that the last sentence is an attempt to avoid "was." It really might be needed in this instance. Something like "His ulcer flamed. It was always a woman." or "It only took a woman." I would just consider simplifying that last sentence so that it packs all the punch it can.

Nice writing! Keep it up!

Free Critique Per Week: Nice example of showing

2010-05-10T03:45:00.023-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Amanda G writes:

If one more person offered Marcus a drink, he just might drown them in it.

“But your hands are empty.” She pushed a dripping beer bottle toward him, and Marcus focused on her face instead. She lifted a second, open beer, and the tip of her tongue caressed the bottle’s mouth. Why would any woman buy lipstick that purple?

“No, thanks,” he said.

The woman’s lips pursed, then curved. “Something you want to hold instead?”

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

If one more person offered Marcus a drink, he just might drown them in it.

“But your hands are empty.” She pushed a dripping beer bottle toward him, and Marcus focused on her face instead. She lifted a second, open beer, and the tip of her tongue caressed the bottle’s mouth. Why would any woman buy lipstick that purple?

“No, thanks,” he said.

The woman’s lips pursed, then curved. “Something you want to hold instead?”

Very compelling! So much conveyed in those small actions (focused on her face instead of the bottle, her tongue caressing the bottle's mouth, etc.) Those details say so much not just about what is happening, but about the characters themselves. This is exactly what is meant by "showing" us a character.

Here is my one suggestion to consider: Nix the first line. The first line basically tells us what you so skillfully show in the next three paragraphs. (I'd just remove the "but" at the beginning of the line of dialogue.) You might even reinsert that line in a bit of a reworked fashion after he says no thanks. Then it would be clearly internal monologue and kind of give a sense that this is not an isolated incident.

Great job showing!

How do you focus as a writer?

2010-05-08T08:38:00.000-05:00

I wrote about my own journey toward defining a tribe here on Michael Hyatt's blog. He's the head of Thomas Nelson, a publishing house. I'd love to read your comments!

Pitch to me: Over the Hill? I resemble that remark!

2010-05-08T05:23:00.030-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa

Real Reedy <http://www.blogger.com/profile/04462110017393906190> writes

I ask God for wisdom at least once a day. I don’t have the gray hair and doctorate degree often associated with being a wise person but I need more than just my common sense to guide day to day decisions. I wondered if I could find wisdom without dying my hair or writing a dissertation. When I dug in to see God’s direction on wisdom, I discovered God challenges even those of us who aren’t over the hill yet to pursue wisdom.

Based on the insight of Proverbs 8:11, Beyond Rubies not only challenges readers to seek wisdom, the treasure God calls better than rubies but also provides direction on where to look for it. This practical journey into the discovery of wisdom equips readers with a path to pursue in the quest for wisdom and entertains them along the way. As readers, primarily women who find themselves seeking wisdom while raising their children, relate to the author’s quest for wisdom they will discover the importance God places on the pursuit of wisdom in the Christian life.

Real Reedy--you write well, no doubt about that. And you have an interesting idea that you've communicated well. You've covered these elements sufficiently: audience, idea, theme, close.

That being said, an editor will need to see more about promotion (a necessary evil in today's competitive market). Also, I think you need to have a stronger hook. I'm pretty sure I've heard this idea before, so let us know what makes your project unique, why it's the best one to buy.

One final note: Beware of references to "gray hair" and being "over the hill." You may come across an editor or two who fit that description. No sense in alienating them before you have a chance to begin. Perhaps quote I Timothy 4:12 as a starting point and go from there.

Thanks for letting me examine your pitch!
Blessings,
Leslie Wilson

As promised, gang, here again are the elements of a pitch for you to save for future reference.

Elements of A PITCH:

Audience—Who are you writing for? Identify your ideal reader. What makes this project appropriate for that particular market?

Promotion—What qualifies you to write this book? Have you written magazine or e-zine articles on this subject? Do you blog about this topic? Have you developed a speech or seminar? What will you do to publicize your book? Describe your platform.

Idea—What’s your working title? Subtitle? What kind of book is this? Where would it be shelved in a bookstore?

Theme— Describe your project in one or two sentences. Answers the question “What is your book about?”

Close—How will you seal the deal with your reader? Identify the takeaway value of your project.

Hook—What new slant/angle do you bring to this topic? What makes your approach unique?

Free Critique Per Week: A Sense of Character and Place

2010-05-07T03:17:00.039-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Sherry writes:

This is the beginning of my teen mystery, "Into The Fire". Thank you for any help.

Sixteen year old Alex kicked at the pile of folded boxes stacked in her doorway as she focused on how much she hated her mother. I should run away, that would show her, she thought. Just then, Alex’s cell phone rang; she grabbed for it inside her pink oversized purse and saw it was from her best friend in Chicago.

“Hey, I was thinking about calling you too. Why? Because, I wanted to know if I could come and live with you if I run away. Of course I am serious. I begged Mom to let me stay with you, or someone, and finish the school year, but no, I had to move here with her. She just couldn’t let me be happy. Grandpa could have lived with us in Chicago; there was plenty of room for all of us there, not like his old farmhouse. I wish I could come back to Chicago and be with all of you guys. I don’t have anyone to talk to. Mom is too busy fixing up that old café, and we don’t have time to shop or do anything. The break is over today, and I have to start that hick school tomorrow. I miss you guys so much; what am I going to do?”

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

Sixteen year old Alex kicked at the pile of folded boxes stacked in her doorway as she focused on how much she hated her mother. I should run away, that would show her, she thought. Just then, Alex’s cell phone rang; she grabbed for it inside her pink oversized purse and saw it was from her best friend in Chicago. This paragraph TELLS a lot about Alex, but doesn't really SHOW us anything at all. It is best to start with some sort of action--whether a conversation or argument or situation, something that allows the reader to get a sense of Alex's anger with her mother and a sense of who Alex is. Is she an unreasonable brat? Is she level headed and her mom is nuts? We need to learn something (through showing) about the main character so that we can care about her enough to read her story.

“Hey, I was thinking about calling you too. Why? Because, I wanted to know if I could come and live with you if I run away. Of course I am serious. I begged Mom to let me stay with you, or someone, and finish the school year, but no, I had to move here with her. She just couldn’t let me be happy. Grandpa could have lived with us in Chicago; there was plenty of room for all of us there, not like his old farmhouse. I wish I could come back to Chicago and be with all of you guys. I don’t have anyone to talk to. Mom is too busy fixing up that old café, and we don’t have time to shop or do anything. The break is over today, and I have to start that hick school tomorrow. I miss you guys so much; what am I going to do?” This "conversation" is just a monologue telling us the setup for Alex's story. This needs to be shown. Show her surroundings, maybe an interaction with her grandfather, or something at the cafe. The reader--especially a YA reader--wants to experience the story along with the main character. Create a scene. Show her surroundings, her conflicts (with people and herself), get the reader to the point that they will BELIEVE she wants/needs to be in Chicago. Think about creating a sense of character and place for the reader so that they can care what happens to Alex.

Hang in there! Beginnings can be difficult. Read about creating scenes and showing v. telling. Know your character and your setting and dive in to create something a reader can latch onto. You can do it! It just takes a little work and a little practice!

pitch to me: clearly define audience

2010-05-06T05:16:00.033-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

Amy <http://www.blogger.com/profile/03571083038560430815> writes

Thanks for allowing us to PITCH!

As we find ourselves amidst the highest unemployment rates in decades, increasing debt, aching hearts, and the seemingly endless list of world disasters, it is obvious there is great need for generosity in the world. However, our fast paced, me-first-society screams for attention while the needs of others are only a minor distraction in most of our self-centered lives.

In From Ours to His: One Family’s Journey, I will discuss my family’s adventure away from the mine, me, must-have mentality into God’s way of giving generously. Filled with biblical reasoning, real-life examples, and practical, family friendly ideas, From Ours to His: One Family’s Journey will answer questions like:

• Is it possible to raise generous kids in a society fixated on disposable items and the hottest, new tech gadget?
• How can I give when I don’t have any money?
• What are God’s thoughts on living a generous life?
• What activities will promote the idea of gracious giving in my family?

Hi Amy,

I love this cool--and timely and relevant--idea. Let's break down the elements of your pitch though.

Audience—Who are you writing for? Identify your ideal reader. What makes this project appropriate for that particular market?

Though your audience is sort of implied, don't leave an editor to guess. Tell them--this book is for parents who do battle with their teen and pre-teen children in an effort to help them become more socially and fiscally aware.
Promotion—What qualifies you to write this book? Have you written magazine or e-zine articles on this subject? Do you blog about this topic? Have you developed a speech or seminar? What will you do to publicize your book? Describe your platform.

Unless you're writing a memoir, which this does not appear to be, you must identify ways you will actively sell copies of the book.

Idea—What’s your working title? Subtitle? What kind of book is this? Where would it be shelved in a bookstore?

You've done this well.

Theme— Describe your project in one or two sentences. Answers the question “What is your book about?”

Good job here, too.

Close—How will you seal the deal with your reader? Identify the takeaway value of your project.

This one's OK. Could expand to place the benefit in the hands of the readers, not just your own.
Hook—What new slant/angle do you bring to this topic? What makes your approach unique?

Well done. In fact, I'd like to hear more about what your family did.

Thanks for letting me take a peek at your pitch.
Blessings,
Leslie Wilson

Free Critique Per Week: Strong words and images

2010-05-05T03:13:00.028-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Bill Giovannetti writes
Without warning, the kitchen door shot off its hinges and crashed against the opposite wall. We hustled down the ladder, and James slammed the trap door behind us. He pulled a basket off a shelf, and handed out glow sticks.

The faint light revealed James Flinn’s private morgue. Less sophisticated than the morgues I’ve been in, but serviceable enough. A stainless steel table dominated the room. Cat skins waited in various stages of tanning. Hundreds of clear jars lined the walls, each with an animal preserved in formaldehyde. I looked closely and wished I hadn’t. Skinless cat faces pressed up against glass walls.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

Without warning, the kitchen door shot off its hinges and crashed against the opposite wall. We hustled down the ladder, and James slammed the trap door behind us. He pulled a basket off a shelf, and handed out glow sticks.

The faint light revealed James Flinn’s private morgue. Less sophisticated than the morgues I’dve (keep your tense consistent) been in, but serviceable enough. A stainless steel table dominated the room. Cat skins waited in various stages of tanning. Hundreds of clear jars lined the walls, each with an animal preserved in formaldehyde. I looked closely and wished I hadn’t. Skinless cat faces pressed up against glass walls.

You have some strong, concrete actions and images in this short bit. (I'm assuming this is not the beginning of a piece.) As you can see, the only real thing I've picked out is a slight tense shift in that first paragraph. Two things that cross my mind about the "morgue": first, as a reader, I assumed that meant there were dead people, not animals, down there, so the cat skins was jarring on first read; second, it might be stronger to show the room as the character sees it rather than tell us it was a private morgue before showing it. Just a suggestion to consider.

Good work! Keep it up!

Attention Novelists: There's now a proposal tutorial for you!

2010-05-04T10:40:00.000-05:00

Today I’m launching a new product on my website called Write a Powerful Fiction Proposal. (Scroll down; it's below the Nonfiction proposal tutorial.)

For you novelists out there seeking publication, you may ask yourself, why would I need a fiction proposal? Don't I just need a synopsis and three sample chapters?

My answer:

Since today’s fiction acquisition market has become increasingly competitive, publishing houses are not only interested in stunning stories—they’re looking for saleable stories, ones that will garner a greater market share.

How do they know if your novel could be that book? Through a skillfully wrought proposal. The kind of proposal that woos acquisition editors and marketing folks alike. The kind that stuns the publishing committee and lands you an advance. The kind you send to an agent, and the agent picks up the phone, dialing your number...

I will help you write that proposal.

Here are some of the benefits of the product:

Over 75 pages of content, including teaching, real-life samples, and templates
A detailed overview of the 10 parts of a fiction proposal
Actual novel query samples that sold
The nuts and bolts of writing a synopsis plus examples
Special feature: how to write an attention grabbing first page, with checklist and examples
3 actual proposals
Checklist of common grammatical/formatting/usage errors (good to use in any writing project)
Once your manuscript is finished: a fiction pitfalls checklist
A blank template to easily create your own proposal in Word

Please pass this information on to your critique group and novelist friends who are struggling to get published. I would really appreciate it. The launch is today!

And for those of you who write nonfiction, there's a proposal tutorial for you as well. It has many of the same benefits as above, but is exclusively for those who write nonfiction It's the first product here.

YQA: Present tense memoir?

2010-05-04T04:26:00.014-05:00

Janet Oberholtzer <http://www.blogger.com/profile/10172668433266809905> wrote:

Hi,
Thanks for this opportunity to ask a question
I just finished reading "Thin Places" (I listened to it on my Kindle while on my treadmill - though I know that it's not your voice, I now think of your voice as being slightly computerish or electronic :)

I liked the book - the story and your writing. I'm now studying your writing style and I love that's its written in present tense. I'm working on a memoir the past few years (I write slow) I'm writing it in present tense and have gotten advice to change it to past tense.

I'm impressed with how well you use present tense, even when switching from scenes in different years/times of your life.

So my question is - should I write in past or present tense and any advice on how to do present tense well?

Thanks!
Janet Oberholtzer

Mary writes:

Janet,

You can actually listen to Thin Places, the audio version, and hear my voice. But, yeah, the Kindle version is robotic at best. No, I am not a robot!

I originally penned the first few chapters of the memoir in past tense. My editor encouraged me to change to present to see if I liked it. I did. It changed everything for me. It placed the reader right into the action of my story, as if each reader experienced my life from my young perspective. Present tense gave it a surprising immediacy.

That being said, it's not easy to pull off. I'd ask a few discerning readers to see if they feel your use of present tense works. If not, by all means change it to past. It is VERY hard to pull off, especially when you're in the past, but it's present, and you're in that scene referring to another past. It gave me a headache. My fallback was to almost always stay in present tense.

Warmly,
Mary

Pitch to Me: Marriage Lost & Found

2010-05-03T05:15:00.031-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

S. Warner <http://www.blogger.com/profile/10865577590949800182> writes

Article for a Christian counseling or family values publication:

Relationship Redemption

As a counselor, every year I encounter dozens of marriages crushed by love that has seemingly died. Someone transgressed the marriage covenant in major or minor ways. They left the path and never found their way back. They never found the road home.

“I woke up one day, and she was done. Who knows why? When I asked her to go to counseling, she refused. All she could say was, ‘I don’t love you anymore.’ I feel so lost. Everything that matters in my life just walked out the door.”

The abandoned partner usually believes it to be a sudden disaster. They had no clue. Sure, they engaged in minor skirmishes from time to time, just like everyone else. In most of these situations, contrary to appearances, love dies a slow death. Truthfully, deep rubble of unresolved conflicts has buried their first love. Words spoken in anger that cut deep into the soul, apparent indifference to the physical and emotional struggles of a spouse, confused loyalty issues between a spouse and extended family members, unexplained desire for time away, emergence of a critical spirit--these among other things can bury love so deeply that people forget where to find it. Worse yet, people can reach a point of indifference. Their hearts become so wounded they grow numb. In a shock induced slowly over months or years, they let go of their partner’s hand and simply walk away. In the rubble lie remnants of bright hopes and dreams of a future together, alongside broken promises and covenants long forgotten. The situation hopeless, they walk into a grief that never really goes away. They became one with another--now that other is gone. They may as well have lost the limbs on one side of their body.
Thanks for letting me analyze this pitch. It's powerful stuff, especially your voice of authority as a counselor. However, you need to be sure to keep it short. Think 4-5 sentences--what you might be able to get out during a conversation in an elevator. (Remember, they call it the "elevator pitch.")

I don't want this affecting message to get lost in verbiage. So, even though you say you're pitching a magazine editor, you still need to define the scope of the project. With a periodical your audience will be set and you probably don't have to prove your effective promotion skills, but you still need to hone the idea. Suggest a title, crystallize your theme (1-2 sentences tops!), and reveal the takeaway. And shorten it.

Thanks!
Leslie Porter Wilson

Elements of a pitch:

Audience—Who are you writing for? Identify your ideal reader. What makes this project appropriate for that particular market?

Promotion—What qualifies you to write this book? Have you written magazine or e-zine articles on this subject? Do you blog about this topic? Have you developed a speech or seminar? What will you do to publicize your book? Describe your platform.

Idea—What’s your working title? Subtitle? What kind of book is this? Where would it be shelved in a bookstore?

Theme— Describe your project in one or two sentences. Answers the question “What is your book about?”

Close—How will you seal the deal with your reader? Identify the takeaway value of your project.

Hook—What new slant/angle do you bring to this topic? What makes your approach unique?

YQA: Should I start a blog?

2010-05-01T04:24:00.018-05:00

Linda <http://www.blogger.com/profile/09519381524126702677> asks

Hello,
I've done a lot of research on what works in promoting my novel and it seems that the majority suggest writing a blog. I've toyed with this idea for months but hesitate because I don't know what I would discuss on a regular basis that would be of interest to others.

Mary's answer:

You really ought to have something to write about if you're going to embark on a blog adventure. There must be something you're passionate about. The problem with novelists blogging is that they tend to talk about the writing process. But then your audience will become other writers or writers seeking publication. That's not your audience, so your efforts in "selling books" won't be rewarded.

Instead, think about the central issue that you tend to write about. Consider creating a blog about that issue. Make a determination to write 2-3 times a week consistently. Don't start something you can't finish or continue. Then promote your blog:

Send your blog address to family and friends
Then find others who share your same passion and comment on their blogs
Link your blog to your facebook page
Tweet about your posts (http://www.twitter.com)
Find your tribe (Read Seth Godin's Tribes)
If you're on the radio, point people to your blog

I hope this helps!
mary

Pitch to me: Insight into the Occult

2010-04-30T03:57:00.032-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

Kristine McGuire writes

What would prompt a woman who had been a Christian for twenty-nine years to abandon her faith and embrace the occult; becoming a witch, medium, and ghost hunter for eight years?

Escaping the Cauldron: What You Should Know about the Occult details the personal journey of Kristine McGuire and how God restored her to faith in Jesus Christ. The book also examines the current upswing of interest in the paranormal and its effect on Christians. The first book in the Escaping the Cauldron series, this book will give the reader insight into the occult from the vantage point of a former insider.

Kristin, Oh my--what a powerful testimony you have and can potentially bring to readers!

In your pitch, you've done a great job of defining your audience, but we need more info on how you intend to reach said audience. (Remember, editors and agents are not mindreaders. Ha! I couldn't resist.) Have you developed seminars (or webinars) on this topic? Do you speak about it? Blog about it?

Because you were immersed in the lifestyle, you can certainly speak from authority and gives your project a unique slant others might not have. However, other than your own restoration, I'm not sure I could identify the takeaway. Be sure to close this out nicely and seal the deal with your readers.

Interesting testimony. Powerful topic. Great start.
Thanks for letting me take a peek.
Blessings,
Leslie Porter Wilson

Elements of A PITCH:

Audience—Who are you writing for? Identify your ideal reader. What makes this project appropriate for that particular market?

Promotion—What qualifies you to write this book? Have you written magazine or e-zine articles on this subject? Do you blog about this topic? Have you developed a speech or seminar? What will you do to publicize your book? Describe your platform.

Idea—What’s your working title? Subtitle? What kind of book is this? Where would it be shelved in a bookstore?

Theme— Describe your project in one or two sentences. Answers the question “What is your book about?”

Close—How will you seal the deal with your reader? Identify the takeaway value of your project.

Hook—What new slant/angle do you bring to this topic? What makes your approach unique?

YQA: Omiscient narrator?

2010-04-29T04:40:00.013-05:00

Kristen <http://www.blogger.com/profile/06716097889143393543> wrote:

In _The Art of Fiction_, John Garder has high regard for the authorial-omniscient POV: "The noblest writers, like Isak Dinesen and Leo Tolstoy...avoid the savage sparsity of third person objective by means of the authorial-omniscient point of view...Cutting through the muck, they simply say -- in the traditional voice of the omniscient narrator -- what is fictionally true."

Why is omniscient POV now so out of favor? Is it really readers who protest? I suspect only writers and editors even notice such things. Readers notice the story.

More importantly, when great writers (Gardner also cites Donald Barthelme and Joyce Carol Oates) use this technique, why do so many writing teachers refuse to teach it?

I understand a lot of beginners write bad omniscient novels. But why is the response to that "just don't write omniscient POV" instead of "here's how to write omniscient POV properly"?

Here's what writing coaches say: Omniscient POV is hard to do well, so don't do it.

Here's what I hear: You'll never be good enough to pull that off, so don't bother trying.

Mary answers:

Omniscient can be done, but you must have a high level of writing ability. And most publishing houses will balk at a new writer attempting it right out of the gate. Better to master third person limited or first person than experiment with omniscient.

Ultimately readers are the ones making decisions about narration, and in today's fast-paced world, omniscient can be cumbersome. Plus fiction is supposed to be a powerful emotional experience. A detached omniscient narrator doesn't bring the reader into the heart and head of one or two characters, lessening the emotional impact.

I personally don't like omniscient for that reason. It's too distant. But that's just my opinion.

In terms of teaching how to write it, my guess is that folks don't teach it because so few have mastered it in a modern world. If you truly want to master it, study the greats as you have done.

I hope that helps.

Mary

Free Critique Per Week:

2010-04-28T03:12:00.032-05:00

This critique is provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Debbie Maxwell Allen writes:

Petar.

I wake with his name on my lips.

I’m sure I spoke it just before I surrendered to sleep. Same as most every day of my seventeen years. But waking up this morning is far different.

I haven’t spoken his name in one hundred years.

I’m draped over the highest windowsill in the castle’s central tower. It looms like a sentinel above the east and west turrets, with a commanding view of the forested hills far below. How I kept from falling is a question for the faeries, I’ll wager. Covered in spider silk and dirt. Leaves in what was once fair-colored hair. I must look a sight.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

Petar.

I wake with his name on my lips.

I’m sure I spoke it just before I surrendered to sleep. Same as most every day of my seventeen years. But waking up this morning is far different.

I haven’t spoken his name in one hundred years.

I’m draped over the highest windowsill in the castle’s central tower. It looms like a sentinel above the east and west turrets, with a commanding view of the forested hills far below. How I kept from falling is a question for the faeries, I’ll wager. Covered in spider silk and dirt. Leaves in what was once fair-colored hair. I must look a sight.

I would like to address this from a "big picture" perspective. This is obviously the opening of the book. It is being told in present tense. Because of this, we have some issues. The first issue is "I haven't spoken his name in one hundred years." How does she know this is we are living the story with her in present tense? It's a great line, maybe misplaced, maybe to be deleted altogether. But in the end it is a line of telling, not showing, and with the present tense there is the issue of how she can wake up and instantly know this.

I think this would be stronger if you can show us, as she wakes, her fear and realizing she's draped over the windowsill, her discovering of being covered with spider silk and dirt, her bewilderment at the situation. Don't rush it. And if we're hearing the story in present tense, it is doubly important that the reader feel "in the moment" with the character who is telling the story.

Does that all make sense?

Also, just for an FYI, this fall, Zonderkids is publishing a YA title called The Healer's Apprentice by Melanie Dickerson, a medieval retelling of Sleeping Beauty. You can read her blurb and see her book trailer at www.melaniedickerson.com. I would just hate for you to spend too much time writing a similar book to one about to come out.

I feel like I've probably bummed you out now, but take my previous comments and apply them to your other works and they'll help there, too. Keep working! It's a long, hard process, but you can do it!

Pitch to me: How to or Memoir?

2010-04-27T03:09:00.024-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa. Susan Schulz writes

The moment we laid eyes on each other, everything clicked. We fit together perfectly, like the two sides of a zipper. Within months we had set a date for our wedding. In the chilly month of December, with every detail perfected, I walked the aisle of what would begin the most amazing voyage imaginable. I married the man of my dreams and knew our life together would transcend all of my expectations. What I didn’t know about this journey was that the highs would reach the utmost mountain tops and the lows would plunge to depths I never thought possible.

We quickly went from two crazy kids in love to the all out American Family—a mom, a dad, a son, and a daughter, and our own home in the North Georgia Mountains. From the world’s standards we were complete. And according to my standards, our babies, Noah and Summer were two of the most beautiful children the Lord has ever knit together.
(Non-fiction)
Susan, your enthusiasm--for life, for marriage, for your children--is contagious! This makes me want to hug my family.

That being said, I'm not exactly sure what the scope of this book will be. To complete a solid pitch, you'll need to define and hone each of the following items:
Audience—Who are you writing for? Identify your ideal reader. What makes this project appropriate for that particular market?

Promotion—What qualifies you to write this book? Have you written magazine or e-zine articles on this subject? Do you blog about this topic? Have you developed a speech or seminar? What will you do to publicize your book? Describe your platform.

Idea—What’s your working title? Subtitle? What kind of book is this? Where would it be shelved in a bookstore?

Theme— Describe your project in one or two sentences. Answers the question “What is your book about?”

Close—How will you seal the deal with your reader? Identify the takeaway value of your project.

Hook—What new slant/angle do you bring to this topic? What makes your approach unique?

What you've done with your pitch is offer an editor or agent an intriguing peek into your personal journey of marriage and motherhood. However, it seems to fall under more of a memoir style--which is fine, you just need to say it. If you have time, why don't you go back and see if you can incorporate these other elements. It's a good exercise and will definitely improve your pitch.

Thanks for posting.
Blessings,
Leslie Porter Wilson

YQA: Short Stories

2010-04-26T03:10:00.006-05:00

Suzannah has left a new comment on your post "It's baaack: Your questions answered ":

Hello!

Writing a short story is very different to writing a novel. Some writers do both, some stick with just one.

Obviously, writing short fiction is good practice, and has many benefits. But, do you think all aspiring novelists should first try to break into the short fiction market to gain publishing credits, or can a well-crafted novel and query letter speak for themselves?

Many agents say previous publishing credits are nice, but not necessary.

What do you think?

Thanks!

Mary's answer:

It's a great practice to write short stories and seek publication, but it's not an easy avenue. Better to use storytelling techniques to write nonfiction articles. They're a little easier to publish, and you can get in recognizable magazines.

That being said, keep in mind that short stories are an entirely different animal than novels. Although I've written a couple short stories, it's not my forte. I'd rather write a novel! I know that sounds weird, but if you study the master short story writers, you'll see a lot packed into a small space. The story arc is smaller and the characters have to be drawn in such a way to make them alive in a quick moment of narrative.

I hope this helps!
Mary

Work from Rest: An important concept for a writer

2010-04-24T04:11:00.003-05:00

Lisa Bergren wrote this to a group of writers who were facing burnout. Her words were so encouraging, I've asked permission to share them here. Be blessed!

Brothers and Sisters,

I've been reading your words about throwing in the towel, frustrations over writing, success, mentoring, etc. We're pulled in so many directions as writers and sometimes as would-be marketers or mentors. Some of you know that I took a hiatus from writing for several years, because God called me to a "fallow season," and at a time that it seemed crazy to do so, I obeyed. I didn't write anything--anything!--for three plus years. I didn't miss it at all. And when I sensed he was giving me the okay to resume, I had some of the richest writing to do...books I loved writing.

I ran across this quote from Mike Breen in Building a Discipling Culture, a book from 3D Ministries: "We are to work from our rest, not rest from our work." He goes on to talk about the rhythm of life as it ought to be lived: "Fruitfulness happens in stages and seasons: abide, grow, bear fruit, prune, abide. This is the rhythm of the swinging pendulum, the Semi-Circle. It's really all about timing. We cannot bear fruit if we do not spend time abiding....Growth seems to be a result of the right rhythm being established. Growth is not the same as bearing fruit. Sometimes we mistake spiritual growth for the fruit itself. This is not the case. We must grow before we can see fruit. An apple tree, for instance, does not bear fruit for three years. Grape vines are pruned back and forced to not bear fruit for two to three years so their root systems can be established. Growth must happen before fruit is produced. And growth comes from knowing how to abide."

I'm working to re-establish a proper balance of working from rest, rather than resting from work, trying to retrain my brain and heart to abide first in God, and go where I see him working, and join him in it there (whether it be writing or serving/ministering in other ways). I don't have it down yet, but I'm getting there...again. Maybe some of you are there too. Work from rest, rather than rest from work. Work from rest...Work from rest...Work from rest...ahhh.

Love,
Lisa B.

Free Critique Per Week: Keep Verb Tenses Consistent

2010-04-23T03:11:00.035-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Terri writes:

The wooden screen door thwacked shut and the shouting inside succumbed to the droning chorus of the cicadas. My summer-browned bare feet carried me across the searing sun-softened tar of the black top. At the end of the street, pavement yielded to hard nature-kilned clay veiled by powdered sand. The dust cooled my toes.

I paused to crouch at the small stagnant pond beside the path. Last summer I would have stretched out on my stomach to watch the tadpoles, crawdads and water bugs. Now I am too self-conscious. Even in my over-sized t-shirt I don't want to be reminded of my emerging breasts. Stretching my legs, I trekked on.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

The wooden screen door thwacked shut and the shouting inside succumbed to the droning chorus of the cicadas. My summer-browned bare feet carried me across the searing sun-softened (avoid using too many adjectives for each thing, just pick the best one for that moment) tar of the black top. At the end of the street, pavement yielded to hard (nature-kilned implies it is hard) nature-kilned clay veiled by powdered sand. (Very nice description) The dust cooled my toes.

I paused to crouch at the small stagnant pond beside the path. Last summer I would have stretched out on my stomach to watch the tadpoles, crawdads and water bugs. Now I am (this is a shift in verb tense, are you intending to write in present or past tense?) too self-conscious. Even in my over-sized t-shirt I don't want present tense) to be reminded of my emerging breasts. Stretching my legs, I trekked (this one is past tense) on.

You have some very nice descriptions going on in these two paragraphs, along with strong verbs. But the first paragraph is all in past tense, as is most of the second paragraph. However in the middle of the second paragraph there are two sentences in present tense. Pick one and stick to it throughout. Of course, if you pick present tense, any flashbacks would still be in past tense.

One other small thing: in the first paragraph you have three times where you use two adjectives before a noun ("summer-browned bare" before "feet", "hard nature-kilned" before "clay", and "searing sun-softened" before "tar"). Try to keep your adjectives to one adjective that shows the exact thing you need to convey at that moment.

It's strong writing, just clean it up a bit. Good job!

Free Critique Per Week: More Show Don't Tell

2010-04-22T03:08:00.056-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Faith Imagined writes:

Zach never liked when Efficientists spoke to him in a variety. It always sounded rude. And although he usually understood what the Efficientists were saying, it felt like so much work on his part. He had to fill in the holes to the content of the sentences.

Before he could say thank you, the attendant was looking down with the transfixed expression again. Zach waited for the man to say something more, but he simply stood there. Zach leaned forward and waved his arms. The attendant continued working unaware. Zach chuckled again and rubbed his chin. He grabbed the metal handles of the dolly and pushed it back and rolled the Sleeper toward the elevator. As he got closer to the elevator, Zach got a better view of the attendant. He was listening to something through headphones, typing on the keyboard and giving sporadic commands. By the looks of it, the attendant was working on several unrelated things simultaneously. Zach looked back at the man’s expressionless face and shrugged his shoulders. Would the man ever see his lifelessness?

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

Zach never liked when Efficientists spoke to him in a variety. (Not sure what "in a variety" means.) It (what exactly does this "it" refer to? Do you mean "they"?) always sounded rude. And although he usually understood what the Efficientists were saying, it felt like so much work on his part. He had to fill in the holes to ("to" doesn't feel quite right, maybe "in"?) the content of the sentences.
Before he could say thank you, the attendant (is this attendant an Efficentist?) was looking down with the transfixed expression again. Zach waited for the man to say something more, but he simply stood there. Zach leaned forward and waved his arms. The attendant continued working (doing what? maybe we know this from a previous paragraph?) unaware. Zach chuckled again and rubbed his chin before He grabbed grabbing the metal handles of the dolly and pushinged it back and rollinged the Sleeper toward the elevator. As he got closer to the elevator, Zach got a better view of the attendant. He was listening to something through headphones, typing on the keyboard and giving sporadic commands. By the looks of it, the attendant was working on several unrelated things simultaneously. Zach looked back at the man’s expressionless face and shrugged his shoulders. Would the man ever see his lifelessness? (Nice interior monologue.)

Ok, first, I'm assuming this is sci fi? I'm also assuming these are not the beginning paragraphs and the reader already knows who/what Efficientists are. WIth that said, the biggest issues here seem to be related: weak verbs and telling instead of showing. My personal opinion is that especially in sci fi or speculative fiction showing is so very, very important because you are in a different time and/or place. Let us see up front what the attendant is doing. Show his sporadic commands with snippets of dialogue, his typing by the sounds that Zach hears, the headphones by Zach observing them, rather than telling us all these things. In doing so, I feel pretty sure you will eliminate your weaker verbs. The last line of interior monologue was nice in that it showed that Zach recognizes his differences from those like the attendant or the Efficientists.

TWC: Trust your editors and be nice from Harmony Watts

2010-04-21T01:59:00.008-05:00

This comes from Harmony Watts who works at Zondervan.

I work with editors in a different capacity than most of you because, while I’m an aspiring writer, I also work inside a publishing house. As an Editorial Manager, I work closely with the editors and get to see what they have to contend with. It’s taught me some things that have made me much more appreciative of their work. Here's some advice from inside:

DON’T be a diva. Divas make life inside the publishing house miserable. There are some authors we all dread working with because, despite the wonderful books they produce, they walk all over their editors and demand the moon.

Editors have big workloads: anywhere from 30-50 projects in different stages of development at all times. Meet your deadlines (if you don’t, you’re infringing on time that was supposed to be spent on another writer’s MS, cover, marketing, etc.). Remember that you’re not the only client.

Remember that editors go to bat for you. When an editor wants to accept your project, he/she must present it before the publisher and the rest of the pub board team and convince them that YOUR work – and YOU – are a viable investment.

Editors have to play nice with agents, which can be political and stressful. Christian publishing is a very “incestuous” business in that it’s a small “community,” and editors are under pressure to maintain good relationships, while forging contracts that also benefit the publishing house. They're middle-men. Not easy.

Blessings,
Harmony

Harmony A. Watts
www.harmonywatts.blogspot.com <http://www.harmonywatts.blogspot.com/>
www.beyondtoast.blogspot.com <http://www.beyondtoast.blogspot.com/>

AFP: Lisa Lickel's story of publication: The ins, outs, pitfalls, triumphs!

2010-04-20T00:43:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been sorry you got what you wanted? You prayed, everything seemed to fall into place, you were overjoyed and thankful and grateful to all the right personages—and then—wham, the giant flyswatter of fate smashes you against the wall?

I’m one of those people who got a publishing contract too soon for my own good. I wasn’t ready, didn’t have the support I needed, and like ill-fitting underwear from a cheap discount store, had little chance of tailoring it into something…um, uplifting.

I’m still here, celebrating my third novel and a box full of newspaper and magazine articles, devotionals and radio scripts. I learned that perseverance and constant work and stepping outside of your own orbit can make the difference between seeing your work in print for a larger audience, and moaning over a stack of manuscripts in your drawer.

My first novel came out in February of 2009, three years after I signed the contract with a brand-spankin’ new branch of a well-known publisher and was given an advance that helped cover a semester’s tuition for my collegiate son. Not-so-pleasant things happened for everyone involved in the venture, including time out to make a completely new marketing plan. Three years is a long time to wait. My son graduated. In between, I rewrote the novel, wrote the sequel, was sort of offered another contract, won and lost two agents, wrote four more manuscripts, pitched at conferences and got some speculative interest which didn’t pan out. I traded a couple of articles for subscriptions to the publications. Lesson: learn the questions. Talk to people and share stories. Some of the business you can’t learn; you have to experience in order to find the right questions. You can’t experience unless you try. Some “try” is going to fail. Some advice, even from people you pay, isn’t always going to get you a contract. Having a Plan B in the publishing business, especially one that involves chocolate, is crucial.

When I was told my first manuscript that had been paid for wasn’t going to work after all, I had a choice: make it fit, or…not. The wallop was only to my ego, and I gained valuable experience that you must be willing to tailor your work to each publisher. I rewrote-and was accepted again. A writer isn’t often given second chances. If I had succeeded with my first contract, I would have lost that incredible hunger that keeps me learning and seeking to better my craft.

An author who wants to succeed works through the web of the Giant Flyswatter, learns to duck, and flies in a new direction, bruised, but with the next goal firmly in sight.

Lisa Lickel

http://lisalickel.com

http://livingourfaithoutloud.blogspot.com

YQA: What is YA?

2010-04-19T04:54:00.005-05:00

Kathy <http://www.blogger.com/profile/12049151488590970260> asks:

I consider the age range of a young adult to be late teens/early 20's. But I've noticed in book genres, YA means pre-teen and up. Is that a correct observation? What age group, then, does Middle Grade represent? I'm having trouble targeting my audience, which would be ages 9-13. I assumed "tween" would catch it, but now I'm not so sure.

I've asked Pam Halter, a children and YA specialist to answer this question for you.

Here's what I've learned about children's books.

Board books, ages 0-2
Picture books, ages 5-8 (notice there's a gap between board and picture books.
Some picture books can be for the 2-4 age range, depending on how many words.)
Chapter books, ages 7-9 (also beginning readers, which use simple, repetitive words.)
Middle grade, ages 9-12
Upper middle grade, ages 12-15
Young adult, ages 15-up

However, I've seen YA listed as 12-up. Personally, I don't think this is right. There are topics for young adults that are not appropriate for ages 12-15. It also depends on the publishing house, genre and if it's CBA or General Market. "Tween" sounds right for ages 9-13. I was a judge for the Baker Trittin teen writers contest for a couple of years and they only publish Tween novels (ages 9-12.)

You also have to take in account how many words. Tween novels run about 40,000 words, for the most part. But, with the success of Harry Potter and Twilight, this doesn't always hold true. Harry Potter was marketed for Tweens and Twilight for YA. Kids will read an epic novel if it holds their interest.

Hope that helps!
pam

www.pamhalter.info <http://www.pamhalter.info>

Free Critique Per Week: Be sure to show the details

2010-04-17T05:06:00.045-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Ginny Jaques writes:

The men turned in the direction of Caleb's pointing finger and Michelle drew the children closer. Muffled voices, irritable, impatient, filtered through the shrubbery along the bank, coming closer, rising to a high pitch. Then the bushes began to quiver and Billy and Luke came stumbling through. The cart pushed them both forward when it reached the slope beside the river. They leaned hard to slow it down, then they peered up at the small crowd of people before them and at the river beyond.

If everyone hadn't been so mad at her it would have been funny—the looks on the boys' faces when they saw the river—the instant change from irritation to amazement. The river had been part of her existence for so long she'd forgotten what an overwhelming sensation it made at first. But instead of laughing she sighed. From now on the river would belong to everyone. She also sighed, a little bit, for shame. She knew she'd been wrong to keep it to herself for so long.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

The men turned in the direction of Caleb's pointing finger and Michelle drew the children closer. Muffled voices, irritable, impatient, filtered through the shrubbery along the bank, coming closer, rising to a high pitch. Then the bushes began to quiver and Billy and Luke came stumbling through. The cart pushed (them both) (who? Billy and Luke or Caleb and Michelle?) forward when it reached the slope beside the river. They leaned hard to slow it down, then they peered (up) (if this is Billy and Luke, are they children looking "up" at adults? "Up" seemed odd.) at the small crowd of people before them and at the river beyond.

If everyone hadn't been so mad at (her) (who? Michelle? Would it be clear from an earlier paragraph why everyone would be mad at her, because I don't get any indication of something from the previous paragraph) it would have been funny—the looks on the boys' faces when they saw the river—the instant change from irritation to amazement. The river had been part of her existence for so long she'd forgotten what an overwhelming sensation it made at first. (show us this: perhaps one of her first memories of the river, one which shows its "overwhelming sensation.") But instead of laughing she sighed. From now on the river would belong to everyone. She also sighed, a little bit, for shame. She knew she'd been wrong to keep it to herself for so long.

You have obviously leaned to weed out your weak verbs and adverbs, so in that sense the writing is strong.

I assume that this is kind of a "middle chunk" of your story, so I'm sure some things have been explained before hand. However, there still seems to be too much left unsaid for the reader to follow along with what is happening. The reader needs to see things as they unfold--to be clear about who is doing what, who is witnessing what. Think of it as describing a scene in a movie to someone who isn't looking at the movie screen. Let us see the movement of the characters as well as the setting around them. When the outer scene is clearly shown then the reader is ready for what is going on inside of the character, too. So stretch this out a bit. Let us see it in more detail and let it unfold as it is happening to and in front of your point of view character.

Pitch to me--Valuable Leading Ladies

2010-04-16T04:06:00.072-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

Stephanie Shott <http://www.blogger.com/profile/05665743876221130043> writes:

Little girls often dream of being like the leading ladies who grace the stage of the big screen. But leading ladies aren't only found behind the lens of a television camera. More often than not, they adorn the stage of life in homes, churches and workplaces around the world. Strength and grace define them. Honor and respect award them.

As a speaker, author and a woman who has been involved in women's ministries for twenty plus years, I know one thing to be true. Women long for significance. "Leading Ladies: Becoming Who You Were Created to Be" will inspire women to intentionally live out their identity, realize their value and fulfill their God-given destiny.

Since Wanna Be Published will be closing up shop in about a month, I will include the elements of a pitch in all of my posts from now until the end of its run. If you want a concise reminder, see the information at the end and feel free to save this for future reference.

With regard to Stephanie's pitch today, here's my analysis:

Audience--Stephanie, you reference women, but your pitch will have more credibility if you define your audience more specifically. Will this book guide women in their 20s and 30s to live a life for Christ? Is it for middle-aged women who question their role in life? Even if you hope to reach a wide audience (which I hope you do), even your style of writing will appeal to one generation more than another. Clarify who that is, specifically.

Promotion--You don't detail for us how you plan to get buzz going about your project. It's wonderful you've been involved in women's ministry for two decades, but be sure to let an editor know how you will reach thousands of women when the book launches.

Idea--This is one of the stronger points in your pitch. Solid title--and catchy, I might add.

Theme--You support your title well. My one suggestion here is to make sure you don't confuse readers with the notion that this is a book on women leaders in the church. That's the only risk I see with this title.

Close--Nice job of letting women know what you intend to deliver.

Hook--Again, I think you do this effectively with the "leading ladies" concept.

Two last things:
1. This may have been a typo, but you wrote "leading ladies who grace the stage of the big screen." Do you mean "the stage OR the big screean?"
2. You mention that "leading ladies aren't only found behind the lens of a television camera." First, leading ladies are in front of the lens. The director and cinematographer are behind the lens. Also, I would delete the word "television." That leaves it open to both film (which is what me mind leaps to when I think of leading ladies) and TV.

Hope that helps.
Blessings,
Leslie Porter Wilson

Elements of A PITCH:

Audience—Who are you writing for? Identify your ideal reader. What makes this project appropriate for that particular market?

Promotion—What qualifies you to write this book? Have you written magazine or e-zine articles on this subject? Do you blog about this topic? Have you developed a speech or seminar? What will you do to publicize your book? Describe your platform.

Idea—What’s your working title? Subtitle? What kind of book is this? Where would it be shelved in a bookstore?

Theme— Describe your project in one or two sentences. Answers the question “What is your book about?”

Close—How will you seal the deal with your reader? Identify the takeaway value of your project.

Hook—What new slant/angle do you bring to this topic? What makes your approach unique?

Free Critique Per Week: External action

2010-04-15T08:05:00.030-05:00

Today I (Mary) am doing this critique

Lois writes:

As the jet streaked toward the south, Adame tilted her seat back. Immediately a cashmere throw was spread across her. She nodded her thanks to the observant and solicitous Miss Kenyon and closed her eyes.

Three spontaneous abortions--natural miscarriages. Natural pregnancies. Not the WOMB. There had never been a miscarriage of the implanted WOMB. Adame's thoughts drifted back to the first successful breakthrough in the development of the WOMB ten years earlier.

Comments and deletions in red. Weak verbs in blue. Additions in green. Purple prose in purple.

As the jet streaked toward the south, Adame tilted her seat back. You want to grab the reader immediately with the first sentence, but this is too mundane. Wow us here. Immediately a cashmere throw was spread across her. This is passive voice. Have Miss Kenyon place the cashmere throw over her. She nodded her thanks to the observant and solicitous Miss Kenyon and closed her eyes. Is it necessary to call Miss Kenyon these things? I'd love to see you show this instead of tell it.

Three spontaneous abortions--natural miscarriages. Natural pregnancies. Not the WOMB. Never use all caps. It's shouting to the reader. Instead: Italics. There had never been a miscarriage of the implanted WOMB. Adame's thoughts drifted back to the first successful breakthrough in the development of the WOMB ten years earlier. If WOMB is the name of a product or device, you can cap it and italicize it. If it stands for an acronym, then it can read W.O.M.B.

I'm not seeing the connection between the two paragraphs. Other than her being on a plane, we have no sense of place here or Adame's internal world. Give us her thoughts. Why is she suddenly thinking about her miscarriages? Where are they going? What makes her muse about the Womb? In good stories there is usually an external stimulus that causes an internal thought. Adding some external action and grounding us in the scene will help things.

TWC: Carrie Bevell Partridge, her story

2010-04-14T05:32:00.000-05:00

"From Posts to Publications: One Writer's Beginnings"
By Carrie Bevell Partridge

Less than two years ago, I finally did something my husband had been encouraging me to do for a long time: I started a blog. There had been good reasons for my putting it off--the main one being that I had three young children, and I knew that writing would be a tremendous distraction for me. And since the younger they are, the more attention they require, I decided to postpone this particular passion of mine.

But I finally did it. And what a snowball it's become! About a month into blogging, I decided to e-mail the producer and editor of our local Parents & Kids magazine and invited her to browse my blog to survey my writing style and determine if I might be able to contribute to her magazine. Much to my delight, she e-mailed back with my first assignment: an article on blogging!

Since that first article, there has been only one edition of the monthly magazine in which I have not contributed. In fact, I now have my own column--"Growth Spurts: Growing Through Motherhood," in which I relay stories of my family and lessons I have learned through the adventures of parenting. I don't make very much money for these articles, but the practice, discipline, and exposure have had such great effects on my writing. Not to mention that I now had added confidence!

With this new-found confidence, I sought out other publications to print my articles. Although it was more difficult to get articles accepted by bigger publications, I did find my way into ParentLife magazine. And they have continued to publish some of my work, both in the printed magazine and on their website. I have also had a few articles accepted for sale on churchmousepublications.com.

So my blog was just the start! I continue to write all sorts of things on my blog, and I have an increased following through Facebook and Twitter, where I post my pieces. Additionally, I always post my blog address at the end of my e-mails and in the bylines of my articles, which drives more traffic to my blog. Recently I have taken up doing book reviews, which I post on my blog, on the publishers' websites, on Amazon.com, and in a few other places. This gives me more exposure and practice in writing, plus you can't beat getting free books in exchange for doing a little writing!

In less than two years, I have written about 130 blog posts, have had 26 articles published (with more on the way), and have written two children's books (Still looking for an agent!). And it all started very simply. Now I can't imagine not writing on a regular basis.

If you are hesitant to get started, don't be. Start with something very easy and basic (and free!) like a blog. Get yourself into the habit of writing regularly and work on honing your craft and finding your voice. Learn from the experts! Read their blogs and follow their advice.

To sound very Nike about it--Just do it! Because you can.

Carrie Bevell Partridge
Blog: www.oncarriesmind.blogspot.com
Facebook: Carrie Bevell Partridge
Twitter: CarriePartridge
Parents & Kids magazine: www.parents-kids.com

AFP: Lynnda Ell "Write until you get it right."

2010-04-13T04:27:00.006-05:00

Today's Advice from Pros comes from author Lynnda Ell.

Write Until We Get It Right
Lynnda Ell, 2010

According to legend, Ernest Hemingway wrote the last page of A Farewell to Arms 39 times before it satisfied him. (Imagine how many times he might have re-written it if he’d had a delete key.) Could he have sold the manuscript without editing it? Probably. However, as a professional writer, he knew the importance of editing.

Like Hemmingway, after completing a manuscript, our focus should be on self-editing. At this stage of my writing career, self-editing stumps me. Fortunately, learning the details of self-editing and practicing it takes some of the mystery away.

Resources for learning to self-edit abound: Ethel Herr’s book, An Introduction to Christian Writing (second edition), contains a chapter on rewriting and polishing that includes four check lists of questions to answer while editing a manuscript. For fiction writers, both Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King and Revision and Self-Editing by James Scott Bell are good resources. The Chicago Manual of Style or – somewhat less intimidating – The Christian Writers Manual of Style by Robert Hudson contains answers for specific questions about spelling, punctuation, and grammar. “So You Wanna Be Published” and similar blogs frequently give hints and tips on self-editing.

Learning the rules for self-editing can help with the recognition of potential problems, but increased editing skills only come with practice. (Practice also removes the pain and demonstrates the benefits.) However, at first, many writers find it difficult to self-edit objectively. Most writers find editing another person’s writing much easier. So sharpening these skills with a writing partner or a critique group is ideal. Since not everyone has that luxury, an electronic substitute could be helpful.

FanStory.com is one electronic substitute. A site devoted to developing the writing skills of anyone who will pay $6.95 per month to upload original material and make it available for reviewing, it needs volunteer editors to review the material. Even better, it costs nothing to set up an account and to review stories, poems, essays and book chapters.

I’m sharpening my own editing skills by reviewing at FanStory.com. I’m learning to spot common problems quickly. I marvel at the astonishing range of skills and talents of people who call themselves writers – from the inability to write a coherent sentence to the proficiency of beautifully lyrical prose. I’ve gained a healthy appreciation for the work of Mary DeMuth and other professional editors. I shake my head in horror when I imagine how agents’ submissions pile must resemble the average writing I find on FanStory.com. I flinch as I recognize mistakes in others’ writing that I make in my own.

The prize in becoming skillful in editing other writers’ work is the ability to find mistakes and structural problems in our own writing. Maximizing the available resources to learn the skills and using a practical laboratory like a critique group or FanStory.com to practice those skills nurtures a writer to grow from editing novice to expert. At that point, we should be able to recognize with our own work – as Ernest Hemingway did with his – whether rewriting 39 times is enough.

Lynnda Ell recently published her book Changing Me, Change the World. She blogs at Passionate for the Glory of God and at Calling All Aspiring Writers of Nonfiction Books.

YQA: How do you publicize a book?

2010-04-12T05:09:00.018-05:00

Lynnda - Passionate for the Glory of God <http://www.blogger.com/profile/11203946226967321615> asks:

Good morning, Mary;

Now that you've launched Thin Places would you talk about the different methods you used to publicize it? Which ones did you find most effective?

Thank you for the opportunity to be nosey. :>)

Be Blessed,

Lynnda

Lynnda,

By far the best thing Zondervan did was send influencer copies to several hundred people. What a great blessing! Those influencers have been amazing at getting the word out about the book, as they represent different circles of influence. Just think about the impact if one influencer in Iowa gives her book to her aunt in Idaho. Consider how many people have the potential to be touched by the book's message!

Thin Places is the kind of book that sells primarily by word of mouth. And so thinking of ways to get it into the hands of folks was the best strategy. Beyond that, social media (facebook, twitter) helped quite a bit too. Blog tours are helpful, as long as it's not the same content on every blog. Otherwise, it reads like a static advertisement.

Another great tool was my book trailer. You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LImEJ8om2qo That accomplished its goal in getting people excited about the book before it was released.

Speaking about Thin Places is also a really great way for me to sell books.

I've also had the opportunity to give the book to leaders. That's proven to be very helpful as they take the book into their circles of influence.

Prayer helps quite a bit. I rest in God's sovereignty in this, knowing that if He wants the book to have a wider reach, it will. I rest in Keith Green's lyrics on this: "Just do your best; pray that it's blessed, and He'll take care of the rest."

The end of an era, you might say

2010-04-09T09:01:00.004-05:00

Dear, dear Wannabepublished authors,

It's been such a joy and privilege to mentor and shepherd you since January of 2008. This blog arose from my desire to help writers get to the next step in publishing. I continued to receive emails asking for help, so I concluded, "Why not put all my advice on a blog and steer folks there?" The experiment worked. Really well. By far, this is my most-trafficked blog.

So it's with sadness that I say I'm needing to step back, to re-evaluate, to give myself some breathing room. I've been thinking about my energy lately, how burned out I've become, how stretched thin. Two good friends have been helping me figure out me, my message, my reach. And while I suspect I'll always be mentoring writers in some way or another (either informally or through The Writing Spa), I can't give my time fully to it. The day to day management of the blog has proven to be just too much time.

And in my journey, I've come to see how God's uniquely gifted me. First and foremost it's to be a follower of Him, a wife, a mother. But beyond that it's this:

To craft and communicate stories in such an authentic way that strugglers find healing and no longer feel alone.

That's my main trajectory. It's what Thin Places, my recent book, speaks to. It's what the cry of my heart touches. I long to see people set free, to be healed, to experience triumph and victory from the ashes of trials and tragedy. That's my heart.
So to pursue that ministry well, I'm having to pull back on some very good things. I hope this makes sense to you. I wouldn't be pulling back if I didn't believe there were already some amazing places you can find help. Here are a few:

Rachelle Gardner's blog. She's an agent. She's savvy. She's amazing

The Writers View 2. A great place to have nearly every question you've had answered in an informal but professional environment.

As a girl who values her word, D'Ann, Leslie and I will be finishing up all the Free Critiques Per Week, Your Questions Answered and Pitch To Me posts. If you've given me those already, they're in the queue. So this blog doesn't end today. The last official day will be May 14th. So please stick around until then, learn from our critiques, becoming a lifelong learner of the craft.

It's been a privilege, a joy, a heartening adventure to walk alongside you. I pray that you'll find success in this publishing journey, and I hope I've been a small part of that adventure.

Fondly,
Mary DeMuth

Pitch to me:

2010-04-09T06:01:00.044-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

Bethany from Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom <http://www.blogger.com/profile/11790803944431508495> writes:

Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom (or The Procrastinator’s Guide to Homeschool Organization) guides homeschool moms in completely organizing their homeschools, including how to choose the best curricula, where and how to set up a schoolroom, how to schedule, how to store supplies efficiently, how to tame the paper monster, and more. This is not a “my way or the highway” book; I present several options and encourage readers to make organization work for their family’s style. This is completely geared towards homeschooling, since many books on home organization already exist.

Homeschool moms will be able to organize one piece of the homeschooling puzzle at a time in a way that makes sense for them. I plan to promote my book through my blog, which already has a faithful following, through my speaking at homeschool events, and through the homeschool magazines and online venues for whom I have already written articles.
Hi Bethany,

Nice pitch, my dear. Very comprehensive. You hit all of the major elements--specific target AUDIENCE, how you'll PROMOTE the project, well-defined IDEA, targeted THEME, effective CLOSE, and fresh HOOK. If I have to give you any "criticiesm"--and I've worked hard to find something, believe me--I'd suggest you not list both of the title ideas you do. One seems to come from a position of strength (Confessions, as in, I confess I've figured this out the hard way; now I want to help you.). The other comes from a position of weakness (Procrastinators), something the rest of your pitch doesn't support--plus a different audience. The rest of this is too strong to get hung up on a questionable title for the project, so just do away with it.

Great job! You're on your way! Thanks for letting me analyze your pitch.
Blessings,
Leslie Porter Wilson

So excited. The trailer is here!

2010-04-08T15:53:00.001-05:00

Only a few more weeks and Life in Defiance will release. May 11th to be exact. My editor says it's the best book I've written. The trailer is below.

Free Critique Per Week: Avoid cliche scenes

2010-04-08T03:59:00.016-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa:

Esther writes:

The February blizzard that slowed life to a crawl had abated when the girl drove into Fernville. She tasted relief when the main street looked familiar, but she frowned as she searched for the turnoff to the lake. If she could take refuge in the cottage, maybe she could figure out what to do.

She massaged the back of her neck. What did she think she was doing? How dare she come back? Perhaps Mrs. Baldwin would not berate her too severely, but would Mollie even speak to her? As for Larry—
The child within her stirred, and desolation washed over her afresh. Once upon a time, she’d assumed any child she ever bore would be Larry’s. But no. She could not think about Larry now.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

The February blizzard that slowed life to a crawl had abated when The girl (is there a reason you don't use her name? Are you trying to do an omniscient POV?) drove into Fernville after the February blizzard abated. She tasted relief when the main street looked familiar, but she frowned as she searched for the turnoff to the lake. If she could take refuge in the cottage, maybe she could figure out what to do.

She massaged the back of her neck. What did she think she was doing? How dare she come back? Perhaps Mrs. Baldwin would not berate her too severely, but would Mollie even speak to her? As for Larry—
The child within her stirred, and desolation washed over her afresh. Once upon a time, she’d assumed any child she ever bore would be Larry’s. But no. She could not think about Larry now.

I really like the intriguing quality of the second paragraph. The writing is strong and questions are raised. But beware of the cliche beginning of returning to her hometown. Even if that is the situation, it might be possible to start with something more fresh and interesting than her driving back into town after how ever many years. Can you find a way to begin with someone else in the scene? Some conflict? Maybe she's had a fender bender on the snow-covered street or start a little farther in, after she's arrived. Maybe she could have contact with someone who doesn't know her, like a waitress in a diner or a clerk in a gas station. Something where it isn't her alone simply reflecting on driving back to "that" town. That's what makes it cliche.

As far as the writing, my two biggest things were the cumbersome nature of opening the first sentence with the blizzard rather than the girl and calling the girl "the girl" rather than using her name. If you choose to do this, make sure you have a good reason. So far, it just feels like the girl's POV and not an omniscient POV which makes the avoidance of using her name feel a bit odd.

But overall your story seems to have great potential for conflict and your word choices are very strong. Good work!

TWC: Guest Post by Andrea Van Ye: Just Write!

2010-04-07T04:25:00.014-05:00

What? Write? Write What?

Running around at a rapid pace, I'm trying to get out of the house with one husband and 5 kids for a skiing trip to Utah. Can you imagine how much stuff we have packed? All I can say is that I hope there is a Wal-Mart nearby. Someone is bound to forget something, and it will probably be me!
With 30 minutes to spare, I read your blog about "Want to write for this blog?"

"Sure, I would love to," I thought, "but seriously, Lord, this is not great timing." However, when God nudges, I have learned to move over and do as He says.

Three years ago, our family began to fall apart. Things were pretty rocky and I my faith was faltering. I never thought I would say that. I love the Lord and I walked with Him before through troubled waters, but this was going to be different - really different -- and I had no idea how different till years later.

As we began to sink, I asked the Lord (at least a 1000 times), "What should I do?"

I expected other responses from Him, but the one I got was, "Write."

"Write what?" I said. I didn't really see myself as a writer. I was a Physician Assistant before becoming a mom of 5 children. I was a keen observer and a good diagnostician, but a writer - I wasn't so sure.

"Write what I show you," God said.

After arguing with Him about whether or not He was going to show up in my life, let alone in a message like "write," I rather reluctantly agreed to give it a try. However, in my heart, I figured it wouldn't amount to much. My self-doubt over-ruled my hopes on many occasions, but I persevered and wrote short stories of how I saw God in my every day happenings, and stored them on my computer.

Four months later, I received an e-mail announcing a contest for an anthology, I'm Glad I'm a Mom.

"Odd," I thought. "I never receive e-mails like this."

God said, "Submit one of your stories."

I said, "Yah, right. And be rejected? No thank you."

God persisted in His call to me; I persisted in my hopelessness. One day I finally said, "Fine. I'll submit a few stories, but I am sure they will not get accepted."

I submitted four stories the night before the deadline. Three months later I received an e-mail that Hearts-at-Home accepted my story for their book. I cried. How weak my faith was and how great God is. Previous to that, I had never submitted anything. It was my first time. I was overwhelmed by His
grace.

In the years that would follow, God continued to prod my heart with the words, "Write." My marriage continued with roller-coaster like challenges. I continued to try and write and speak at our Women's Bible Studies.

Then in October of 2008, I felt led to start a blog. The Lord gave me the verse Mark 16:15, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."

Again, I asked the Lord, "What shall I write?"

"Write what I show you," He said.

"Like what?"

"Just start it and I will show you."

I secured the blog name, but did not post anything. Five days later, I found out my husband was having an affair. After crawling through the first 2 months, God reminded me of my empty blog and His words from Mark.

"Write all that I show you about Me in the midst of your heartache and brokenness, and I will use it to encourage others."

In brief, this is what I have done the last 15 months (in addition, to healing), and this is my encouragement to other writers.

1. Heed God's call. If He says, "Write," get at it. You may never know how He will use it. God gave us the perfect Word, the Bible. He asks us to use our imperfect words to direct others to His Word. What an opportunity - in and out of seasons of pain.

2. Look for God in all of life. He is always showing us things about Himself, ourselves, the world through circumstances, creation, our relationships and His Word. Open your senses and see what God is telling you, so that you can encourage a hurting world to trust in Him.

Need to run. The car needs to be packed, the dog brought to the kennel, the cat settled in, and the kids picked up from school. This trip is part of our "maiden voyage," as a new family; we have a long way to go, but it is a start. My husband and I walked through 16 months of separation and counseling, and are now coming back together. He has done a great amount of work learning, changing and walking in repentance, and I have worked on waiting on the Lord and healing. Writing is part of my story. I am
convinced that God used it to redeem me and my family, and I hope, to bring life and healing to a broken world.

Meet Andrea at her blog here.

AFP: Me via Nicole

2010-04-06T03:18:00.014-05:00

This came from Nicole Unice a few weeks ago. It's posted with her permission. She wrote to tell me the things she's learned here. I loved the way she was able to nutshell everything so well.

Mary,

Thanks for the personal touch. You have influenced me greatly. Your blog was the first thing I started reading, when I began this whole crazy journey (Keri Wyatt Kent told me to read your stuff)--passing on your writing to others is the least I can do in return.

So here's 10 Things I've Learned From You:

10. Don't be afraid to be honest.
9. Writing is hard work. But the process is the test to discover passion.
8. The process isn't quick. Blip of an idea translated to book is always longer than you think it should be.
7. Use social media, but do it with personality.
6. Always give back.
5. Don't stop reinventing yourself to follow God's call.
4. In the end, it all comes back to trust.
3. Good stories don't always have perfect endings. And good testimonies don't either.
2. God is bigger than #3, so let your writing show that (don't tell.)
1. Pouring out your life is worth it.

Thanks. I'm always learning, but getting close (2 agents are interested!!) :)
Nicole

www.nicoleunice.com
www.thestubbornservant.blogspot.com

YQA: What does a book mentor do?

2010-04-05T04:55:00.015-05:00

Messy mommy <http://www.blogger.com/profile/12284174094018616648> asks:

What does a book mentor do? I am finishing up my first book (Christian children's/mg sci-fi) and hope to turn it into a series. I'm wondering if I need a book mentor or if I can figure out the next step from getting Christians Writers Market guide and Idiot's Guide to Getting Published.

Answer: A book mentor shepherds a new writer through the publication process. Some of the things I do along with Leslie Wilson and D'Ann Mateer include:

Editing and shaping a nonfiction or fiction proposal, honing it so it sings and grabs the attention of an agent or editor.
Line edits (catching spelling, grammar, usage issues).
Substantive edits (overarching edits, theme, story structure, big idea).
Voice to voice coaching, helping writers go to the next level, brainstorming about brand, writing projects, pitching, etc.
If I love a project, I often introduce my client to an agent. I've had some success this year where writers I've mentored have found agents. Very fun!
Writing coaching. Helping writers determine their strengths and weaknesses. We not only point out issues, but we teach you how to overcome them yourself.

Pitch to me: Contemporary Love Story

2010-04-02T04:40:00.055-05:00

This Pitch to Me is brought to you by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Lisa Lickel writes:

Thanks, Mary, for this opportunity. This is a bazillioneth re-write on a project I've been re-tooling over the past three years. I'm nearly finished and would love an opinion on how to pitch it to show off its best side. It's a comtemporary love story but not a category romance.

Amalia Kennedy, owner of The Last Detail, a business dealing in end-of-life issues, keeps the secrets of the dead and dying as part of her life in a small Illinois river town. She’s comfortable, has no family ties, and will probably marry her old friend and local funeral director, Hudson Demarest.

Merit Campbell, an ordained minister and medic, dedicated his life in service to the Lord. When Merit returns from the mission field to recover from an illness, he visits the town where his uncle spent his last days and meets the woman his sister hired to settle Uncle Bruce’s estate.

Attraction is instant and mutual between Merit and Amalia. They share some of their deepest secrets, including the fact that Merit’s younger brother vanished years earlier. Upon the advice of his close friend and local church pastor, Merit stays in Uncle Bruce’s house while he is stateside.

God seems particularly intent on throwing Merit and Amalia together: Merit cannot return to his mission due to terrorist activity and becomes the new local pastor; Amalia learns she wants a bigger life than her safe, small-town work and predictable future husband. Despite heartaches and secrets, Amalia and Merit marry. But did they leap too quickly? How can two busy people keep their love alive when the deepest family tragedies pummel them? What was God thinking?

Hi, Lisa,

First, thanks for submitting your pitch. I think pitches are one of the hardest things in writing. At least they are for me!

One thing that struck me in this was that you explained at the beginning that this isn't a category romance. If you hadn't said that, I would have assumed from the pitch that it was. Why? Partly because the romance seems to be the focus of the pitch rather than the other issues that you hint at in the final paragraph. Is this book really about courage to live life and dealing with family and tragedy? My guess is yes. Then these are the issues that need to be highlighted in the pitch instead of the fact of their attraction. Just the fact that they meet and marry lets us know that a romance is part of the story. Make the focus of the pitch the real focus of the book.

Here's one suggestion:

Amalia Kennedy, owner of The Last Detail, a business dealing in end-of-life issues, keeps the secrets of the dead and dying as part of her life in a small Illinois river town. When Merit Campbell, an ordained minister and medic, returns from the mission field to recover from an illness, Merit and Amalia share some of their deepest secrets.

From here, explain briefly that they marry quickly, but also give some general idea of what follows for them rather than just questions that don't say anything about the direction of the book or the resolution of the story. Much like a synopsis, the pitch is not meant to leave the editor/agent/person hearing the pitch hanging. They want to see the viability of your story.

I'd love to hear other suggestions for how Lisa can express the heart of her story without making it coming across as a category romance.

A writer's prayer

2010-04-01T09:10:00.000-05:00

Here's a copy of the prayer I prayed at Mount Hermon's Palm Sunday service. I pray it blesses you on your own journey toward publication.

Free Critique Per Week: Start in the right place

2010-04-01T05:05:00.066-05:00

D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa, is providing this critique.

Lorna G. Poston wrote:

Thanks, Mary. Here are the first two paragraphs from my WIP, Wounded Hearts.

For twenty-eight years, Samantha Lewis had avoided the cabin by the lake and the death that surrounded it. But now, she was coming home.

A curtain was drawing shut on the day as she turned onto the half-mile long gravel driveway that would take her to her final destination. As she piloted her red 1958 Ford pickup around the neglected potholes, the small U-Haul trailer bobbed along behind like a floater at the end of a fishing line.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

For twenty-eight years, Samantha Lewis had avoided the cabin by the lake and the death that surrounded it. But now, she was coming home.
A curtain was drawing shut on the day as she turned onto the half-mile long gravel driveway that would take her to her final destination. As she

Samantha Lewis piloted her red 1958 Ford pickup around the neglected potholes in the half-mile gravel driveway, the small U-Haul trailer bobbinged along behind like a floater at the end of a fishing line. (nice image) A curtain was drawing shut (can you describe it more, what is actually happening? Maybe more like a shade being pulled down, turning light to darkness) on the day as she reached her final destination. For twenty-eight years she'd avoided this cabin by the lake. (don't give too much information yet) But now, she was coming home. (Maybe fix this with "It felt good to come home" or just "she'd come home.")

As you can see, the biggest issue here is starting at the right place. Of course, without seeing more it's hard to tell if even this rearranging of things does the trick. It might be you need to jump down even farther into this scene to begin. Play with a couple of different starting points until you find that one that pulls the reader right into the story.

Resist the urge to tell too much at the outset. Let the questions linger in the reader's mind: Why has she stayed away so long? Why has she avoided this place--a broken heart, or something worse? Without having those answers, a reader will keep reading to find out. Draw it out and write it strong--and be sure the return to the old place is greeted by some kind of conflict, even a small one.

Writing Opportunity~

2010-03-31T20:13:00.000-05:00

An opportunity to write for Lucid Magazine:

http://www.lucidmagazine.com/.

At Lucid Magazine (lucidmagazine.com), our intent is to provide content that is original, thoughtful, and consequential. We truly desire to be a showcase place for quality writers, so we'd love to check out new authors with unique perspectives. Keep in mind that all articles need to be 1,000 words or less, are subject to editing for both content and space, must be accompanied by a brief author bio and pic, as well as a written statement giving Lucid permission to use the content online and in future publications (author will always be given writer’s credit). There is no compensation for this, but good exposure.

Email editor at: editor@lucidmagazine.com

The Writing Craft: Envy and the Writer

2010-03-31T01:13:00.003-05:00

“And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” Ecclesiastes 4:4.

This has been on my heart many years, but the message is pouring out today. I pray it blesses you. I know your heart is not to chase after wind, to have meaningless tacked on to your writing journey. I started this journey over twenty years ago, but the publishing part started around 2003 when I signed my first contract. And that’s when the envy deep inside came out. I’d envy writers with different contracts, more successful acquisitions. After I was published, I’d envy high sales, better exposure, great reviews. Though I spent a good deal of time handing over that envy to Jesus, I still wrestled with it. But I didn’t realize how deeply dangerous envy was.

If you look it up in the New Testament, you see it listed next to what we see as hefty, beefy, awful sins. But we coddle envy as if it’s something to be tolerated. As if it’s benign, when actually it’s a cancer that destroys not only our joy, but also the lives of those around us if we let it take root. Job 5:2 says, “Envy slays the simple.” And Proverbs 14:30 says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

It’s simply not healthy to spend time worrying about someone else’s success, contracts, sales, agent, wins. It kills. It kills you, and it kills the potential relationship you have with another writer. And it kills your contentment.

As I’ve thought about my publishing journey, I’ve learned (slowly!) that God has me on this track for a reason. My eighth book just released. None are best sellers. Few are critically acclaimed. I am not known. But I’m finally shaking hands with that. Why? Because I realize that if all those things I pined for (and perceived in others) came to me when I demanded them, I’d be a major Me Monster today. I love how God works. If my books sell, it won’t be from sparkling marketing efforts, or building the best tribe, or being a web guru, they’ll sell in God’s sovereign time, by His sovereign plan. I’m thankful for scriptures like Deuteronomy 8:17-18 that offer this frank warning: You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.

Envying sent me down a slippery slope of wanting what I didn’t have. Had God given it to me in a rush, I wonder if I would’ve been like the Israelites and thanked my own prowess instead of God’s provision.

And besides all that, what really nails the dirtiness of envy for me is this: Envy killed Jesus. That’s how ugly it is. Matthew 27:18 says, “For he (Pilate) knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him.”

We’re in an interesting industry, folks who write novels for God’s glory. I pray you haven’t traveled my road. I pray you’ve learned deep contentment in your own journey and can truly rejoice in others’ success. On this loop, you’ll see folks rejoicing—in others’ success. You’ll see stunning success. You’ll hear about heartbreak, rejection. But do make it a point to stop yourself when your heart leans toward envying a fellow writer. For his/her sake, choose to bless in your mind. For your sake, don’t let it take root. Don’t let it have its end result which is entitlement and bitterness. Instead, thank God for the journey He has sovereignly ordained for you. He has a you-shaped plan in mind, for your good and His glory. Rejoicing in that will slay envy.

AFP: Marketer and Novelist Jim Rubart talks about popular appeal

2010-03-30T03:08:00.011-05:00

When my wife and I shopped for our first couch many moons ago, I asked our salesperson, "What style of couch do you personally like?"

"Oh, you wouldn't like it. Because I deal in couches all day long, I don't like the same things a typical customer does."

When I pressed him to explain what he meant he said, "I guess my tastes are a bit more sophisticated than the average person."

When I lead fiction marketing workshops I often ask the attending writers, "What's your favorite movie?" It's a fun way to get to know them and tells me a bit about their stylistic leanings. None have ever answered:

1. Avatar

2. Titanic

3. The Dark Knight

4. Star Wars

5. Shrek 2

6. E.T.

7. Star Wars- The Phantom Menace

8. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

9. Spider-Man

10. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

(The current top ten movies of all time.)

Readers certainly want Dan Brown, Stephenie Myer, Paul Young, and John Grisham . but I doubt any of us on the TWV loop would tout their work as examples of stellar literary craftsmanship.

My point? We are likley jaded by being editors, agents, and professional writers. What the average reader thinks is orriginal, we've seen many times. Our receptivity to a great story might be clouded because the craft used to tell the story is poor. What we think should sell millions often doesn't.

I'm not saying we should write stories without excellent craft, but to understand the marketplace we might need to work harder at getting inside the head of the average couch buyer.

Jim Rubart
http://jimrubart.com/

YQA: Balance of your examples and the examples of others in nonfiction

2010-03-29T04:54:00.013-05:00

Enjoying the journey, Karla <http://www.blogger.com/profile/12644512535415318861> asks:

When writing nonfiction how do you know you have a good balance between examples in your own life and in the life of others. I keep having people that I am seeking feed back from either tell me I am using too much of me and not enough of other people or the other way around.

My writing is on finding joy in the journey of our lives even when we might find ourselves on an unexpected road.

My answer:

It's always good to have a variety of perspectives and examples in a book. And be careful not to fall in the trap of always using yourself as a good example. Here's a simple rule of thumb:

Your foibles + others' triumphs = interesting writing

So don't be afraid to share your own pain, your mistakes. And be sure to highlight the victories of others. This keeps you humble and endears you subtly to your reader.

If you use others for examples, either get their permission, or mask them in such a way that they wouldn't find themselves in the pages of your book. Add a note at the beginning of the book like, "Some names and details have been changed to protect the identities of the people involved."

You can also create case studies or compilations where you put together several people as an example. Counselors do this a lot when they share a case. They must mask it for the sake of confidentiality, so they compile several different traits in one person.

Pitch to me: children's historical novel

2010-03-26T04:31:00.033-05:00

Today's Pitch to Me is brought to you by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

April W Gardner writes:

Hi Mary!
Thanks for allowing us to submit pitches for critique. Here's one I could use some help on.

“Gott mit uns” (God with us) was the slogan emblazoned on many Nazi belt buckles. But whose side was God really on? Could He be with a German and with the children of the nations they occupied?
These questions are the framework for the theme of my middle-grade, historical novel, “Lizzie and the Guernsey Gang,” which is finished at approximately (?)words. This novel is the beginning of a series of children’s adventure books.
It’s 1940. Surrounded by a turquoise sea and living under Nazi occupation, Lizzie Browning is trapped. A girl of nine, she’s certain escape from Guernsey, her island home, is a must. Along with her brother, Andre, and her cousin, James, Lizzie devises a plan to repair an old boat and sail away in the night. However, a gang of bullying Nazi Youth, an intimidating German Colonel, and an uncle returned to the island as a spy put kinks in the children’s plan. And then there’s Phillip Siefert, the lonely neighbor boy with the German surname whom Lizzie has labeled a traitor. But is he? Or is he a tool in God’s hand to bring Lizzie to a place of acceptance and dependence upon Him? In the end, Lizzie learns that “Gott mit uns” applies to any who will open their heart to Him. Including the enemy.
This novel is based on the real life struggles and lessons in faith of Ruth Millar, a lifetime resident of the British Island of Guernsey, to include its five year occupation by the Germans during WWII. Having lived in England four years myself, my link to that country and its culture shines throughout the novel.

Thanks again, and God bless!
April W Gardner

Hi, April.

I think this is a really intriguing pitch. I have two suggestions:

1) Get right into the story. Start the pitch at "It's 1940" and go on from there. I don't think the beginning part is truly necessary, except for the genre information, which can easily be put at the beginning of the final paragraph (This middle-grade, historical novel is part of the series . . .). I would put the Gott mit uns translation in the synopsis part. If you want to include the theme questions, do them after the story synopsis. What you want is for someone to be intrigued by the story line so that they want to hear the rest of the details.

2)I would definitely mention the popularity of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, which is the same time period and location of your children's books.

Hope that helps! I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this, too. I confess that while I know what a pitch should be, I don't feel I always do them well!

Free Critique Per Week:

2010-03-25T05:01:00.038-05:00

This critique is provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Kristen wrote:

[Here are 2 grafs from my WIP, "Crucible for Silver:"]

“This is you.” One of the bank’s vice presidents strode toward her, waving the rolled-up magazine. He wore that incongruous combination of wrinkled brow and half smile most of her co-workers had displayed all day.

His tone was almost a question—as if there had been some doubt. The picture accompanying the article was a couple of years old, but the red hair, narrow face and, she had to admit, haughty expression were undeniably hers.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue. Adverbs in purple.

“This is you.” One of the bank’s vice presidents strode toward her, waving the rolled-up magazine. He wore that incongruous combination of wrinkled brow and half smile most of her co-workers had displayed all day. (Nice description.)

"This is you." (Because the above paragraph talks of his walk and expression and this one talks about his tone, the dialogue seems more natural here.) His tone was almost a question—as if there had been some doubt. The picture accompanying the article was a couple of years old, but the red hair, narrow face and, she had to admit, haughty expression were undeniably hers.

Good job. I think the passive verbs work fine here, as does the adverb. Definitely a case of knowing when to use them! You could change the first "was" to "His tone almost asked a question". And while I deleted "she had to admit," it could easily be added back in after "were." Otherwise, it seemed a bit intrusive in our getting the picture of the picture. Nice work!

7 Myths about Publishing

2010-03-24T08:28:00.000-05:00

Shatter those myths! Read them here.

Promotion--only if you offer value. TWC by Kathi Lipp

2010-03-24T04:35:00.013-05:00

This comes from author Kathi Lipp regarding promotion. See her links at the bottom of the post. If you'd like to learn from a pro, she's the real thing. Enjoy!

I am being called on more and more to teach about marketing and social networking for both speakers and authors - it can be so tricky.

I have to say the line for me between bragging/getting a message out has had to be asking myself this question - Am I offering something of value?

Beyond my book - if I am not offering a valuable book I have no business writing - but if what I am sharing in my newsletters, blog, free resources etc. has had people come back to me and said that they used it or needed it, I feel good about the promotion that I have done.

What I have had to watch for myself was asking others to do favors for me - I am not speaking about other author - I love promoting works and authors I believe in - but asking my readers to do favors for me. ("Please tell three friends... Please tell your small group leader... Please buy my book form Amazon on this day... Please buy my book...") I want every one of my readers/friends to feel like they are gaining from our relationship and not being used.

Social media is great as long as it is being used as a two-way conversation. If all I am doing is promoting, I am missing the best stuff - a chance to connect with my audience. And that is when it starts to feel a bit icky.

I think it is fear that sometimes drives me to go into what my husband calls "Promo-Mode". When I feel like my numbers are dropping or aren't what I hope they will be, or my calendar looks light, I can start to panic. But finally, I have been doing this long enough to know not to freak out, keep working on my relationships, and everyone will benefit.

Kathi Lipp

http://blog.kathilipp.com
http://www.thespeakerproject.org
http://ProjectsForYourSoul.com

AFP: Ashley Weis on the sometimes fun journey of publication!

2010-03-23T01:56:00.004-05:00

Writing is tiring sometimes. As writers we often labor many long hours on our "babies" only to go through the devastation of a stillbirth. We labor, we go through the pain, the tears, and the joy of giving birth, but when it's finally time to meet our new treasure ... no breath of life.

Many of us have stories that have never taken their first breath. They are projects that have helped us grow. And although we've never held them in our hands and ran our fingers over those inked pages ... they remain within us.

It's hard being a writer sometimes. It's hard to go through so much labor and feel like none of it pays off. It's hard to pour your heart into something and have some people tell you it's the worst thing they've ever read. And we writers often feel like the word "rejected" should be stamped on our foreheads. One of my favorite writers (Charles Martin) was rejected eighty-something times before an agent finally gave him a chance. If you are a writer you know the hopeless feeling of getting the twentieth rejection and wanting to give up.

But if you are a writer then writing kicks inside of you regardless of your desire to be pregnant with new stories or not. It's always there, punching your ribs and reminding you that you are a writer.

All of this labor and pain can be fun though. I have given birth (to real babies) twice and I can assure it is the worst pain I have EVER experienced. But there is something fun about it. There's some strange part of me that enjoys natural childbirth and once I see the eyes of my child I immediately want to do it all over again.

It's all in our perspective. Any labor, whether writing or childbirth or managing a business, can be fun. I think we've got to choose the right surroundings, the right inspiration, and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. I know that may sound like an over-played song, but it's so true.

My agent, Jenni Burke, is truly amazing. I believe my choice in a literary agent has made a tremendous difference in the amount of "fun" I have with the publishing biz. She makes it fun. And it is fun! Here I am, on the brink of either being published or receiving a billion and three rejections, and I can smile without anxiety because I know that I'm in God's hands and I have an awesome literary agent who makes all of this more interesting and fun. My lovely friend (yes, yes, it's Mary! Who else?) always told me to wait for someone who would "champion your book." Wise, wise words. I could have settled. But I waited for someone who believed (and believes) in me and it has made all the difference.

Choosing the right critique partner is also KEY to making this journey fun. If we surround ourselves with people who beat us down, slice our manuscripts, and never believe in us, then we'll grow more and more discouraged. We need loving critique partners who aren't afraid to be honest. That's made such a difference for me.

And of the many surroundings (writing places, etc.) that we can utilize to make publishing more exciting, there's a foundation that must be stand strong beneath them all.

We must always trust God. We write because we can't help it. We care for the work in progress until it's time to give birth. And then, if we give birth to another treasure that doesn't take a breath ... we smile as we taste our salty tears.

We smile because we know that God has a plan. That's what makes this all so fun. We're unraveling His plans for us. We're not in control. We can be rejected thousands of times and debut with a life-changing best-seller. Or we may write and write and write and only change the life of one person who finds our unpublished work inspiring.

Either way, we press on because we can't help it and we hope for the best. We enjoy every twist in the road, every stop sign, and every exciting green light because we know that God is using our words for His glory. And since this is all for Him ... we can rest and have fun knowing that everything will go exactly as He has planned.

So ... HAVE FUN!

I'm curious to know (from all you writerly types out there) what you do to make this journey fun. What are your happy secrets? :)

A s h l e y W e i s
ashleyweis.com
blog.ashleyweis.com

YQA: What do you do if you get a bad review?

2010-03-22T05:10:00.009-05:00

As many of you know, Daisy Chain was available free as a Kindle and Nook download in February. Afterward, I received a few hard/mean-spirited reviews in the aftermath. Why? Because folks weren’t expecting fiction with a Christian worldview, and that makes them mad. I got several inflammatory one star reviews because of it. At first this bothered me. But then I realized two things:

John 15:18: "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.” So being thrashed for Christian themes should be a no-brainer. I’m in good company!
I looked at some of my favorite books (Peace Like a River, Secret Life of Bees) which had some awful one-star reviews. I know it sounds weird that I read those and received comfort, but it’s true. The more we’re out there in the public spectrum, the more our books sell, the more we’ll find folks who don’t “get” our work. Even masterpieces have detractors. Instead of wallowing in the sadness that someone didn’t like my book, I should be thankful I’m meriting a read, and that someone felt so strongly about it. It puts me in league (so to speak) with other authors.

These are things to tuck away in your mind. Many think that once you hit publishing nirvana that rejection becomes a thing of the past. Nope. It gets harder, more public, and usually more painful. Gear up now by developing a thick hide.

Pitch to me:

2010-03-19T05:25:00.037-05:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

Tamitha <http://www.blogger.com/profile/01209627908735777684> writes:

Supper of the Lamb and Tender at the Bone are memoirs that include recipes. I think a devotional with recipes is a great idea, so you might want to mention the success of the memoir/recipe books to help sell the devotional(healthy)/recipe idea. it's also easy to get caught up into what we look like and forget the spiritual part of us, so that might help pitch the idea, too.

Tamitha,

Interesting idea. I've heard of the popularity of these memoir/recipe projects. Perhaps that's because food infuses our culture--from the idea of smelling frying bacon at Grandma's to watching Dad carve the Thanksgiving turkey. Eating remains at the center of all of our best-loved celebrations.

And I like that you want to bring in the spiritual element here, as well. What's missing from this pitch are a clearly defined audience and how you plan to reach them. Are you developing a blog following? Short of having your own cooking show, that would probably be the best way to promote a project like this. Especially if you plan to focus on healthy cooking/eating, you could look at fitness websites or gyms. The list is endless as our nation seems obsessed with both thinness and good food. We're a national dichotomy!

Though you touch on other elements (your hook, your theme and your takeaway), I would pinpoint those as you write your proposal. It will give you more specific direction as you write your cookbook . . . and eventually pitch it to editors and agents.

Thanks for allowing me to take a look at your pitch.
Blessings,
Leslie Porter Wilson

Free Critique Per Week: Clues as to setting

2010-03-18T05:51:00.037-05:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Tamera Lynn Kraft wrote:
Here's my first two paragraphs of America.

October, 1857, Oberlin, Ohio

America Leighton placed the envelope in her book and tucked it in the pocket under her cloak. She considered throwing it in the fireplace without reading it. But she wouldn’t.

She pushed through the post office door and rushed across Tappan Square. The wind burned her cheeks as she passed the historic elm on her way to the Ladies House.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue. Adverbs in purple.

October, 1857, Oberlin, Ohio

America Leighton placed the envelope in her book and tucked it in the pocket under her cloak. She considered throwing it the letter in the fireplace without reading it. But she wouldn’t.

She pushed through the post office door and rushed across Tappan Square. The wind burned her cheeks as she passed the historic elm on her way to the Ladies House.

Nice, strong writing in these few sentences. The only thing a bit jarring for me as a reader was learning she had been in the post office. From the first few lines, it seemed as if she were at home alone (the reference to the book and the fireplace and no reference to anyone else in the room with her). Could you begin with something like "America Leighton took the envelope from ______" or even start with a bit of dialogue showing that she is in a more formal (business) setting? Or perhaps add "as she pushed through the post office door" after "cloak."

I added "the letter" in the second sentence because it was unclear what "it" referred to since a book and a letter were mentioned and both would be possible to burn. Good job. I know I'm wondering what's in that letter now!

TWC: Ashley shares her publication journey

2010-03-17T01:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday my agents presented my books to publishers. I've been thinking lately about how God has orchestrated my writing journey more beautifully than I could have imagined.

Two years ago I began to write "for real." My childish love for writing became something I couldn't base off of natural talent anymore. I needed to learn and grow. My use of adverbs and adjectives and flowery writing ... it had to go.

Initially I set out to write non-fiction for teen girls (much like the articles I've written for Brio & Susie Mag). But without a platform I knew I'd get nowhere fast, so I turned around and pursued writing a novel.

I found Chip MacGregor's blog and read every post in his archive. Within those posts I came across a name which would later become dear to me. Chip mentioned the best proposal to cross his desk and I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask this person if she'd look at my writing and offer advice.

She offered the best advice out of any other person I had previously asked. She picked apart my writing, gave me more flaws than praise (which I wanted), and what I loved most about her was that she didn't sugarcoat the truth. She knew how to be brutally honest, BUT she laced her words with a genuine desire to see a new writer grow. She encouraged me even while slicing my precious ten pages.

Others critiqued me during that time, but Mary DeMuth stood out to me because of her ability to cut my MS to pieces and still encourage without sugarcoating to make me feel better. I suppose that's why I have stuck with her these entire two years. Oh, Mary ... I wouldn't be here without you.

Susan Meissner is another person who has critiqued/edited for me and has handled her knife with love. Mary and Sooz are WONDERFUL!

After being edited to pieces and having written four different novels I began Exposed, which was a finalist in the 2009 ACFW Genesis Contest. At the conference I met Allen Arnold from Thomas Nelson (one of the most encouraging people I've met in publishing) and he discussed this project with me and gave me ideas for a related non-fiction book.

I came home and created a non-fiction proposal FAST. At this time I had several amazing agents interested in me, but wasn't sure which one to choose. Allen offered to send my proposal to the non-fiction side of Thomas Nelson, so I thought I'd hold off on choosing an agent until I felt comfortable with my choice.

Then, I chose my agent. I couldn't be happier with my choice. They are sweet, genuine, helpful, love Jesus, and share some of the same passions that I do.

Yesterday they officially pitched my books to publishers. I have a publisher of choice, but I won't mention the name yet. :) Now is the time to wait and see what happens. Two years ago I never thought I'd be here. But I am. It took a lot of hard work (especially while managing a design business and two babies), but I am here.

Through all that I've learned the advice I would give to fellow unpublished authors is this:

Think of criticism as a gift. Don't ever stop learning and growing as a writer. Never think you are better than others. Do not compare yourself to other people -- be yourself. God has given you a unique voice with stories true to your heart. Don't give up. Learn which advice to take and which to throw away. Don't let mean agents and writers discourage you. Listen to God above all and seek Him for encouragement, direction, and counsel. Be patient. Be willing to go down roads you didn't plan or expect. And most of all ... love your fellow writers, agents, and publishers. Be a friend to others.

My thoughts for agents:

Love. Some agents I have come across throughout this process have blown me away with their encouragement and support (even amidst rejections and criticism). Others, however, seem filled with arrogance and unnecessary snarky comments. Perhaps they mean to be nice and encouraging, but really they sound like they are on the gold medal platform looking down at the world. Love. Love. Love. It makes a huge difference in the sensitive hearts of new writers.

Agents I recommend purely based off of love (I either know through experience or others):

D.C. Jacobson
Jonathan Clements
Chris Ferebee
Sandra Bishop
Wendy Lawton
Terry Burns
Esther Fedorkevich

Some of the most encouraging/loving authors I know:

Mary DeMuth
Carla Stewart
Jim Rubart
Susan Meissner
Gina Holmes
Sandi Glahn
Camy Tang
Christina Berry
Susan May Warren
Michelle Sutton
Randy Ingermanson
SOOOO MANY MORE!

Some of the most encouraging peeps in publishing:
Allen Arnold
Michael Hyatt
Don Pape
Susie Shellenberger

Now, for the list of people to stay away from:

Just kidding. This list is purely based off of people I know. There are many, many wonderful people in this industry I have yet to meet. My hope is to be on a list like this for others. I want to be someone who is encouraging, never making people feel like their dreams are out of reach.

You can do anything through Him. Yes, even get published. Sometimes the road doesn't look like we imagined or hoped. Sometimes there are more thorn bushes, forks, and wrong turns than we'd like to endeavor, but everything is worth it. Press forward, be loving toward others, and don't give up.

Most of all ... stay true to who you are, that's where you'll find your voice and shine.

AFP: Author Trish Berg on a Mini Book Proposal

2010-03-16T03:57:00.005-05:00

Below is author Trish Berg's mini book proposal. It's similar to a one sheet, but it's full of more information. You can use this as a guide to create your own. They're especially handy to give to an agent or editor at a conference.

Proposed Title:	*The Great American Supper Swap-* Solving the Bus Woman’s Family Dinnertime Dilemma
Author:	Trish Berg
Represented By:	Les Stobbe, 300 Doubleday Road, Tryon, NC 28782, (828) 859-5964 (http://www.stobbeliterary.com/)
Brief Description:	Seven dinners a week, fifty-two weeks a year – that’s right, 365 dinners a year, minus the rare evening out. No wonder clusters of solidarity-seeking moms in soccer stands across America are asking each other, “What are you making for dinner tonight?” With today’s simultaneous trends of increasingly busy families and a re-focus on the importance of community, co-op cooking is a growing grassroots phenomenon. The Great American Supper Swap presents the homemaking tool that meets the needs of families and communities; the way it works is simple, and it simply works. **The Great American Supper Swap** presents the straightforward steps to establishing and operating a cooking co-op for families who long to provide well-balanced, delicious family dinners, save time and money, build deeper friendships, and reduce their daily stress. National magazines, including Better Homes and Gardens, Quick Cooking, Working Mother and Southern Living promoted supper swapping as the way embrace your workweek with the peace of mind that comes from a fridge full of homemade dinners, ready to serve. And all said it was simpler to set up than most women think.
Target Market:	The target market for *The Great American Supper Swap* is Christian women from twenty to fifty who seek a simpler way to get supper to the table; moms who struggle with that 4:30-and-nothing’s-in-the-oven-panic who also want more joy in their lives. Families struggling with the typical American balancing act: work, household duties, family time, and a myriad of other commitments from their kids’ sports teams to church activities and extended family commitments. Co-op cooking solves the dinnertime dilemma for hardworking parents seeking time savings, money savings and richer family relationships.
About the Author:	Trish is the author of Rattled (Multnomah 2008) and co-author of 2 books: Mom, You Make a Difference (Revell 2005) and A Scrapbook of Christmas Firsts (Leafwood 2008) which will be available in all Cracker Barrel stores by December 2010. She has extensive media experience and has been interviewed on ABC World News Tonight, Focus on the Family, Midday Connection, The Harvest Show, Crossroads Full Circle and numerous regional radio and TV shows. She has been a feature speaker for Hearts at Home and MOPS International and 95.5 The Fish MOMSquad. She enjoys speaking at women’s retreats and conferences all over the country. Trish connects with over 3,000 families daily through her website, blog and followers on Facebook and Twitter. Her syndicated newspaper column (Graphic Publications) circulates weekly to over 80,000 families in northern Ohio. Trish has an MBA in marketing and she looks forward to partnering with a publisher to market her book in unique ways. She and her husband, Mike (a school teacher and baseball coach), stay busy raising their four children (ages 7-14) on their 200 acre beef cattle farm in the heart of Ohio.

YQA: Should I use an unreliable narrator?

2010-03-15T05:52:00.012-05:00

Bailish <http://www.blogger.com/profile/04436719495598416111> asks:

I've been toying with the idea of unreliable narrator. I want to have a narrator who is jaded in his views to tell the story. The purpose effect that I'm trying to achieve is so the reader sees the one-sidedness and feels the protagonist is being mistreated. Does this sound like it might work?

My answer:

Yes, it does. If this is your first novel, though, I would study up a bit more about how to pull it off. If you've written a novel or two, then you can probably pull it off. Just think about someone in real life who is unreliable, who stretches the truth, who believes things about himself that aren't true. Pretend you are getting into his head and stay there awhile.

Here's a good, general post about unreliable narrators if you're interested. It gives good steps to help you create your narrator.

Pitch to me:

2010-03-12T05:34:00.031-06:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

This is an idea I've been considering, so I thought I would take a deep breath and throw it out there.

Kids today are growing up in a scary world: all the usual peer pressures we grew up with as well as terrorism and technological advancements we never dreamed of. Parents are becoming more disconnected from their kids, not understanding what they are going through and increasingly preoccupied with making money to buy the next new thing. What kids need is security. A security that comes from love. Unconditional love that sets boundaries and provides discipline. Then kids will have the security to talk to us--about anything. I plan to read LOVE DARE and FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES and start this as a blog with the LOVE DARE 30-40 day devotional guide format that gives parents ideas/suggestions on "sneaky" ways to show their kids they are loved. I will draw on my experience as a mom and former teacher (taught 4.5 years in preschool plus have a BA in Elementary Education) and my husband's BA in psychology (family and marital) and youth groups. But this isn't just for parents--it's for grandparents, teachers, anyone who interacts with kids.

I will be "advertizing" my blog with my MOPS group as well as a local Moms club. I also have many contacts through Facebook who are moms. I'm still working on a title; my only idea right now is LOVE YOUR KIDS--I DARE YOU! One of my biggest concerns is if there would be any copyright permissions I need to worry about.

Thanks,
JennyHi Jenny,

In simply analyzing the elements of a pitch, you've done a nice job. Let's examine the various aspects.

Audience—You've clearly identified your ideal reader, as well as secondary and tertiary markets.

Free Critique Per Week: Pitfalls of First Person

2010-03-11T05:32:00.001-06:00

This critique provided by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

James wrote:

This is from a section midway through the 2nd chapter of my fiction book titled Saving Grace...Incorporated.

Here I sit, the one time most feared corporate raider and job eliminator on planet earth being asked to spearhead an employee buy out of one of the biggest companies I tried to dismantle!

My initial response was, “You got to be kidding me, even if I wanted to do this, how could I possibly garner the confidence of those who’s jobs I personally threatened a few short years ago!” All I could do is look right at Paul and burst into laughter. I couldn’t believe my ears; spearhead an employee buyout, what a novel concept. I was absolutely the wrong person for this job. There was no way this would work.

“With all due respect, Mr. Reed and Mr. Smith, this is your problem. I am retired and love it this way. You are kidding me right?” With that said I promptly excused myself from the meeting and started out towards my car.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue. Adverbs in purple.

(Here I sit, the one time most feared corporate raider and job eliminator on planet earth being asked to spearhead an employee buy out of one of the biggest companies I tried to dismantle!) (I'm assuming since this is in the 2nd chapter and this is the narrating character that the reader already understands who this man is and just a bit of this part of his past. If so, this is unnecessary. If not, that could be a problem.)

(My initial response was,) (This preamble to the dialogue is unnecessary.) “You've got to be kidding me. Even if I wanted to spearhead this employee buyout do this, how could I possibly garner the confidence of those who’s whose jobs I personally threatened a few short years ago!?” All I could do is I looked right at Paul and burst into laughter. I couldn’t believe my ears; spearhead an employee buyout, what a novel concept. (when we are shown this through his words and actions, this sentence become unnecessary.) I was absolutely the wrong person for this job. There was no way this would work. (repetitive)

“With all due respect, Mr. Reed and Mr. Smith, (if one of these men is the Paul mentioned above, keep your addressing of him by this character consistent) this is your problem. I'm retired and love it this way. You are kidding me right?” With that, said I promptly excused myself from the meeting and started out towards my car.

First person can be difficult to navigate the first few times you try it. It tends to get overrun with both weak verbs and redundancies as well as telling instead of showing. Show the scene, the conversation, etc., but don't then retell what is going on. Yes, reveal what is going on inside of the character--but only if we can't see it clearly from his words and actions. Otherwise, the reader starts to feel as if they read everything twice. Work to make the verbs strong and make sure your sentences add to the story not just retell it in another way.

TWC: Amy's amazing story!

2010-03-10T05:56:00.009-06:00

(Due to unusual circumstances, please forgive the length of this post.)

The summer of 2008 I wrote a book.

The same summer, I almost died.

My family says I'm melodramatic, but the near-death incident happened at Holiday World. Now, you need to know in high school I lived for roller coasters. I couldn't wait until dusk at theme parks, when most folks headed home and those of us who lingered took advantage of short lines and rode the monster wooden coasters over and over and over again.

Fast forward twenty years later to our family vacation at Holiday World, 2008. As the gates opened, people exploded into the park like race horses. We were no exception, and sprinted to the back of the park to the world's most wicked wooden coaster: The Voyage.

Little did I know a lot can change in a body over two decades.

My then-seven-year-old and I climbed into our seats and buckled in. As the cars climbed the first hill, we gripped the safety bar tighter. I looked to the right and left to see if there was a way out. And I really don't remember much after that. The first plummeting hill knocked the wind out of us. I could barely turn my head to look at my son because of the G-force, but when I did, I was sure he was not breathing. Hill after jarring hill and turn after jarring turn, it seemed the ride would never end. Five minutes after stepping off the ride, I passed out and took a wheelchair ride to the park's infirmary, where a 70-ish EMT helped me to a cot.

"Happens all the time," said the EMT. "People think they're the same as they were when they was youngin's and end up in here flat on their backs."

Ok, so I'm not young anymore, and I've vowed to never again ride roller coasters. My kids laugh hysterically and tell everyone they know, "Mommy's favorite ride is the wheelchair!"

Pride aside, I tell you this story because it is, in fact, quite similar to receiving "the call."

The call = when an agent calls an aspiring author and offers representation

Which brings me back to the book I wrote in the summer of 2008. It was a nonfiction book I'd really been writing all my life, but I put it all on paper that summer. All 45,000 words of it. And it was amazing.

Or so I thought.

In reality, it stunk. I knew nothing about the publishing industry, and even less about writing a marketable manuscript, particularly in the nonfiction narrative genre. So I did what most aspiring authors do: I started scouring the internet.

One of the most useful and interesting stops on my internet journey was Michael Hyatt's blog, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. I polished my query according to tips from his web site, and started querying agents on his recommendation list. (Mr. Hyatt has an ebook now about writing proposals. I bet it's pretty good.) In the fall of 2008, I queried over 30 agents, including Rachelle Gardner at WordServe Literary. (I also started reading her blog religiously.)

I received 29 rejections. Including one from Rachelle.

One agent requested a proposal. She might have felt sorry for me, I don't know. While she did not offer representation, she said she thought I had promise and suggested I attend the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. (How I got there is a miracle in-and-of-itself, but I'll write about that another time.) I was petrified, knew no one, and spent most mornings praying alone in the chapel. By the end of the week, I'd found friends for life in my "coincidental" roomate, Sherri Sand, and my writing mentor for the week, Mary DeMuth. (By the way, you really, really must buy their books, Leave It to Chance and Thin Places, respectfully.)

At Mount Hermon, I learned so much and felt God so intensely among the giant redwoods, I cried all the way to the airport when it was time to go home. I even tried to convince my husband to move there. (Here's a photo of me and a redwood at Mount Hermon.)

Once home, the first thing I did was form a prayer team to support me and my family along the writing journey. (Spouses and children of writers are the true saints of the world.) Then, I started re-writing. And re-writing. And re-writing. And I read. Fiction and nonfiction. And every book about the art of writing I could get my hands on, including those by Brandilyn Collins, Stephen King, Anne Lamott, and William Zinsser. I started tweaking my web site and seeking more opportunities to speak (platform-building). Then, I submitted a new proposal to an agent I met at Mount Hermon.

And waited.

And was rejected.

So, I started re-writing and re-writing again. I bought Nonfiction Book Proposals that Grab an Editor or Agent by the Throat (in a good way) from Mary DeMuth. Then, at the suggestion of a friend, I submitted a query and proposal to Rachelle Gardner.

I was doubtful. (Remember, I had queried her before.)

And strung out on anxiety.

Anyone who follows Rachelle's blog knows she's tough. Really tough. But I knew I had to try. I'd written a totally different book, and I'd become a different writer.

I didn't want to check my email. Yet, I checked my email obsessively. I didn't want to follow Rachelle's tweets, yet I checked them 5 times a day (sorry, Rachelle). If she tweeted about "crushing a writer's dreams" or blogged about "horrible proposals," I was sure she was writing about me (because if you're a neurotic writer like me, it's always "all about you").

Three months later, I'd pretty much given up.

Then last week, I opened my email and almost deleted one I thought was another recipe from Rachel Ray. (Yeah, I subscribe to her recipes.)

But it wasn't.

It was from Rachelle, and in the subject line was one word: Representation. (Yeah, this picture pretty much sums up my response.)

She called later that week and gave me assignments. She said she hoped I was writing down her suggestions. I promptly scooped myself up off the floor and tried to remember what a pen looked like, grabbed one, and started taking notes.

She was calm and professional, and I squealed like a school girl.

She tried to rein me in by making small talk, asking when I got married. I couldn't even remember my husband's name, let alone when we got married.

She said something about cheering on a local sports team for a big upcoming game. I was bewildered. The Colts? Aren't they in Baltimore? Is that a basketball team?

Yeah, it went sorta like that. (Clearly I'll never be her first choice client for live interviews.)

A couple weeks later (and thanks to my friend Kathy Richards), I've calmed down enough to write this all down for you, although I've violated every blog-length rule in the process.

And this is what I'll say in summary: If you are a writer, don't give up. I thought my writing sucked. I thought I sucked. I thought the time and re-writes and prayer requests were all vain and purposeless. But each time I started rolling down that hill of self-pity, I heard God whisper, "I gave you a gift. I gave you a story. Now it is your responsibility to use those. And use them wisely."

Which is what He requires from each of us, after all. To use our gifts for Him, no matter what those gifts may be.

The roller coaster ride's not over. In many ways, it's just beginning. And so I press on . . . deeper into God . . . to Whom I credit this strange and wacky and wonderful journey. It is, after all, for Him I write. And for whomever needs to find hope and joy from the words He helps me pen.

As my now-eight-year-old said the morning I danced around the kitchen after receiving Rachelle's email, "There's no turnin' back now, Mama!"

Tru' dat, buddy. Tru' dat!

(For more entertaining stories about "the call," and the writing journey, check out Billy Coffey, Richard Mabry, Jody Hedlund, and Katie Ganshert.)

Want to write for this blog? You can!

2010-03-09T09:35:00.000-06:00

Wannabepublished is my best-trafficked blog by far. Hundreds of hits a day, coupled with subscriptions and lots of feedback. How would you like to write a post? Here are some I'm interested in:

Your story of publication. The ins, outs, pitfalls, triumphs.
The Writing Craft. Share something you've learned about the craft of writing in a teachable, open, easy-to-understand way.
Advice from Pros. You may not feel like a pro, but you probably are in one area. This topic can cover the gamut: marketing, pr, novel writing, articles, speaking, conferences, pitching, blogging, etc.

Send me an email at maryedemuth at sbcglobal.net with the post (preferrably all formatted in html), including a picture of you and your links.

ALSO: I'm running low on PITCH TO ME. If you have a pitch, please place it in the comments below. Thanks!

AFP: The parallels between exercise and writing

2010-03-09T05:53:00.003-06:00

This is a picture of me and writing spa mentor Leslie Wilson after we completed a sprint triathlon. She's more buff than me, for sure! Although I am no athlete (believe me!), I have learned a lot by trying to stay in shape. As I worked out this morning, I tied ten lessons to the journey of writing. Here they are:

No pain. No gain. I've had some new authors meet with me, expecting to hear that the journey toward publication was like a walk in the park (a slow, meandering one at that). When I share my story of publication, either newbies will freak out, or choose to believe that my story isn't normative and that they'll get discovered right then, or give up. Here's the truth. It hurts. It's hard. It takes dedicated work. It's not a sprint. Writing for a living is a marathon full of shin splints, side aches, and breathlessness. If you want to succeed, you have to have some pain (including rejection.)
Just do it. In terms of working out, I rarely FEEL like doing it. Half my battle is just putting on workout clothes! Once I do that, I figure I may as well sweat a bit. That's the key to writing. It's a choice. A dedicated choice. An intentional choice.
Don't expect immediate results. I've been back on track the past 6 weeks. I haven't lost all the weight I want to lose. In fact, I stayed at a certain weight for a period of time. This made me want to give up. But I knew that if I kept at it, eventually I'd see results. I'm starting to feel stronger. Some weight has come off. But beyond weight and how I look, the interior goal of becoming in shape has really been met. It's the same for writers. We may not be published right away, but we will improve. Our craft will get better slowly. That in itself is a worthy accomplishment.
Hire a personal trainer. Sometimes we get stuck in a fitness rut. I know I had. So I hired a personal trainer for a few sessions. She truly helped me see things differently. She pointed out my weak spots (my arms are as strong as Jell-O). She made me work harder than I ever thought I could. A good writing mentor can do that for you. He/she can point out where you're weak, challenge you to dig deeper, inspire you to improve beyond what you thought yourself capable.
Fuel yourself well. As I've worked out, I've included good eating. (BTW, a great place to track your exercise and calories for free is livestrong.com ). Eating whole foods (those items you find in the perimeter of the grocery store) really help to feed your body, make it strong. Similarly, writers need to feed on great words to be able to produce amazing words. Poems, stories, anthologies, books in and outside your genre, essays, and of course the Bible--all these in variety help feed your imagination.
Go outside. I'm happiest when I work out under a canopy of sky. And when I'm stuck in writing, a simple jog through the neighborhood usually helps jog my memory. (pun intended). Here's a great article about running and memory.
Don't yo-yo. My trainer told me this yesterday: "It's almost worse if you work out for a period of time and then become sedentary. It's better to keep working out steadily." It's the same for writing. Sure, there are seasons in our lives where we need to place writing as a lesser priority, but if you're truly serious about making writing a career, you'll find a way to add writing to your life (even if in a small way) every day.
Build muscle. Muscle burns fat. It helps us in many ways. Already I'm noticing my posture improve, and I have less neck aches at the computer because I'm lifting. In terms of writing, the more I work my writing muscle, the faster and better I write. Some folks ask why I write fast. It's because I write a lot, building my muscle. And if I'm out of shape (not writing), my ability to generate words wanes.
Welcome others alongside. Working out is not as much fun if you do it alone. I bring my 11-year-old with me, and we have a blast. As writers, we are more apt to succeed with community behind and around us. Go to conferences. Find a critique group. Interact online. Join associations. Going it alone will be a lonely, frustrating road.
Have fun. Ultimately if working out is drudgery and frustration, you will quit. Similarly, in writing, you must cultivate a fun, carefree attitude. Instead of letting rejection sideline you, see it as a redirection. It's not a no per se, but a new opportunity to grow! Use your words, too, to bless others. Don't simply write for publication, but seek to write words to others that will bless them. Often it's our unpublished words that make an internal impact. And learn to laugh along the way. Don't take yourself too seriously.

I'm no workout queen. But I'm getting stronger. I'm able to run faster and longer. I can lift more weight than I did when I started. I can do push ups and modified pull ups now. I took at test at realage.com that calculated my age as 7 years younger! So I'm seeing results.

As a writer, I've spent twenty years getting word-fit. In that time, I spent at least 10,000 hours and ten years in obscurity, writing miles and miles of words. I've had seven books published (with my memoir, Thin Places, making number 8 February 1st). I've had the privilege to be a personal trainer to many through conferences, The Writer's View and The Writing Spa. I'm happy, thankful, and blessed. All that work and discipline has paid off, by the grace of God.

YQA: Your Questions Answered. What if I've already self published?

2010-03-08T05:14:00.000-06:00

This came in my inbox:

Ms. Demuth,

I’ve written two workbooks that support the seminars my Ministry conducts. They are “self-published” via a local on-demand printer. They are titled:

SEX, KIDS, & THE INTERNET: A Guide For The Parents of 21st Century Children (3rd Ed.)

FLAME-PROOFING YOUR KIDS: What God Says About Sex and How To Teach It To Your Children (1st Ed.)

I now feel that, with the updates I’m working on and should finish in March, that God is prodding me to get the workbooks published “professionally”. (They were written to support the seminars but with the intent that they will also be quality stand-alone works. i.e. You don’t have to attend an event.)

Most sites I have studied about how to get published say to send a pitch. Is this still the recommended method when you have a complete and printed product? Or, what direction should I take? Send to a publisher, or look for an agent?

I would value your advice.

Thank you!

Here is my response:

If you’d like to have them traditionally published, the protocol is to write a query letter about the piece (I have a free tutorial on my website here. But you’ll also need to write a proposal, which shouldn’t be hard since you’ve written the books/workbooks already. I do have a tutorial for that here: http://www.marydemuth.com/store.php.

First: write the query and proposal (The proposal also has three sample chapters).
Then: Send query to agents (not publishers. Most publishers won’t accept unsolicited manuscripts. Your first goal is to get an agent).You can find a listing in the Christian Writer’s Market Guide by Sally Stuart. Or you can meet agents face to face at a conference (which is a much better way to go).
Then: if an agent likes the query, he/she will ask for the proposal.
Then: If an agent offers representation, he/she will shop the proposal to various publishing houses for you.

I hope this make sense.

Warmly,
Mary

Pitch to me:

2010-03-05T05:26:00.025-06:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

Faith, Food &Fitness

Most women struggle with their weight or at least wish to lose five to 10 pounds. According to the Centers for Disease Control 67 percent of adults over age 20 are overweight or obese. This could be a sign of our national gluttony. After joining Weight Watchers in 2001, I began revising recipes to be healthier which led me to self-publish six cookbooks of healthy recipes. I have also created devotions about dieting and weight loss that discuss my own struggles in this area and how I have seen God work. Faith, Food & Fitness alternates devotions and healthy recipes and contains 30 of each.

Hi Aunt Purple,

Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to take a peek at your pitch.

Since I haven't posted the formula for A P-I-T-C-H in a few weeks, so here it is again as a reminder:

Elements of A PITCH:

Audience—Who are you writing for? Identify your ideal reader. What makes this project appropriate for that particular market?

Promotion—What will you do to publicize your book? Describe your platform.

Idea—What’s your working title? Subtitle?

Theme— Describe your project in one or two sentences. Answers the question “What is your book about?”

Close—How will you seal the deal with your reader? Identify the takeaway value of your project.

Hook—What new slant/angle do you bring to this topic? What makes your approach unique?

While I personally like your approach of combining devotionals and recipes, I don't know how an editor will react to that format. Regardless, you must show us why you're an authority on this subject. If you haven't already, you need to start a blog. At the very least, you'll gain a following of faithful readers who might buy your book when it comes out.

Be careful of publicizing the fact that you've self-published six books, unless you have terrific sales figures to back up your projects. I've been witness to the fact that cookbooks are a tough sell--unless you have your own cooking show! Be sure you're building your platform by blogging or publishing recipes in print or online publications.

I hope this helps you move on from here.
Blessings,
Leslie Porter Wilson

Free Critique Per Week: Kill the Adverbs

2010-03-04T04:49:00.002-06:00

This critique is given by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

Stephanie has left a new comment
I'm so glad to have found your site, thank you!

Outside my window, friends taunted me with their yelping to and fro in preparation for the light show about to commence. Mason jars were gathered, nails carefully driven into lids, and strategies laid out. When the sky turned deeply orange with only moments left of light, the mysterious beetles made their appearance and lit up the night.

From my bed, within the frame of my window, I saw the swarm sparkle past. A trail of flailing Mason jars came next, seemingly propelled only by laughter and an occasional bobbing head breathless from the chase. I was motionless, not only did I wish desperately to be in their midst, I was incredibly humiliated that I wasn’t. I surely didn’t want to be caught bathed and in bed while every other kid gallivanted about.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue. Adverbs in purple.

Outside my window, friends taunted me with their yelping. to and fro in preparation for the light show about to commence. They Mason jars were gathered mason jars, drove nails carefully driven into lids, and laid out strategies to capture the coming light show. laid out. When The sky turned deeply orange, with only moments left of light. Then the mysterious beetles made their appearance and lit up the night.

From my bed, within the frame of my window, I saw the swarm sparkle past. (Very nice.) A trail of flailing Mason jars came next, seemingly propelled only by laughter and an occasional bobbing head breathless from the chase. I was lay motionless. Not only did I wish desperately to be in their midst, I was incredibly humiliated that I wasn’t. I surely didn’t want to be caught bathed and in bed while every other kid gallivanted about.

You set up a very nice situation with the tension between what is happening outside and what is happening to the character. Use your words to not only describe the situation but evoke the sense of anticipation. That means killing the adverbs and the weak verbs and making shorter sentences that build this anticipation. In the final sentences of this selection find a way to make us feel it the way the child feels instead of simply telling the feelings. One way might be to say, "I lay motionless, humiliation covering my bathed body. More than anything, I want to be out gallivanting with the others." That's just a suggestion, of course. I think with a few changes you can have a very strong couple of paragraphs.

TWC: The prayer and paradox marketing strategy

2010-03-03T05:49:00.003-06:00

I included this picture as perspective, to remind myself about this crazy beautiful world we live in, to ground myself in people, not products.

A bit ago I asked via Twitter and Facebook this question:

How do you balance blessing the Kingdom of God with marketing your wares? Is there such a thing?

Here are the responses:

A constant and careful balancing act.
The question implies you can't do both at the same time; I'd check that
assumption. It's more of a healthy tension than opposite objectives.
That's one thing I get nervous about. Whew.
I keep asking and asking myself (and praying)...am I promoting the Lord
or me?...am I seeking glory or giving it to Him? ...Am I marketing
myself or temporal stuff or seeking to draw all men to Him. If He's not
in it...I don't want it.

It's a tension/balancing act authors face. I don't know if I've balanced well (maybe I've camped more in the tension camp. My shoulders would say so.)

Marketing reminds me of a painful analogy my husband and I heard when we were raising support to be church planters in France. It went something like this: "Picture a long gravel driveway and you at the beginning of it. To raise support, your job is to simply (ha!) turn over every piece of gravel as you make your way to the house. There will be five rocks with a red X on the back. Find those, and you've found your support."

But here's the ironic thing. We started with that sort of "turn over every rock" strategy. What did it get us? Lots of fatigue, frustration, and frayed nerves. What did work? Prayer and paradox. Prayer because we'd get to the end of our support raising ropes and give up, asking God again for direction. He'd give it. We'd follow it. And often more support would come through His counterintuitive plan. Paradox because it was NEVER how we would think it would go. We'd ask wealthy folks to join us financially, and they wouldn't. We'd ask poor seminary students who gladly sacrificed what little they had to help us gt to France.

How does this relate to marketing?

Perhaps our strategy should be Prayer and Paradox. And in that, we'll kill two birds (marketing our books, advancing the kingdom of God) with one stone (trusting and obeying).

Prayer:

Truly commit your marketing adventures to prayer. Ask God to direct your steps. To guide your blogging. To smile upon your facebook status.
Pray for others in the industry. It's been a rough year.
Pray God would bless your competition.
Pray that the Lord would specifically show you which social media (if any) is right for you. Some folks shouldn't twitter. Some shouldn't blog. Don't give into the temptation to do everything. Seek Him first.
Seek the Lord's heart for your books in the first place. Ask about ways you can bless folks with your words.
Before embarking on a new initiative, ask God to check your motives, to sift your heart.
Seek God and HIs kingdom as you think about marketing. How can you combine promoting your book with highlighting the plight of the world? How can your book selling somehow positively impact someone in need? (Giving away books to prisoners may help word of mouth, but also help folks who need Jesus-y words, for example.)

Paradox:

Understand that your great plans might come to naught--by God's design. Not to frustrate you per se, but to redirect you. I once sent hundreds of newsletters highlighting my speaking ministry. It cost a lot of time and money. I received this many requests to speak: ZERO. What did I learn? For me (and it's unique to each person), I was to rely on the Lord to bring the engagements. And how did He do that? Exclusively through relationship and word of mouth.
Perhaps the scope of your book or speaking topic is smaller but deeper than you expected. I spoke on national radio on a well-known program about Building the Christian Family You Never Had. The book has had moderate sales. But when I shared my story of abuse, I received an email from a mom who had adopted a sibling group. All the girls had been sexually abused. They listened to my story. The youngest said to her eldest sister, "Why did that lady (me) have to go through all that terrible stuff?" The eldest answered, "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's so she could get through it and then help girls like us." Those comments changed my life. If I wrote that book for those girls, it was worth it.
I remember sending my novels to celebrities. What came out of it? A big, fat nothing. Like a celebrity even has time to read my book! But the best things have happened marketing wise when I've sent my books to folks without a big name. I've met some pretty cool champions of my work who've sold way more copies than Angelina Jolie.

I doubt I have it all figured out. Do any of us? (And if you do, feel free to leave a comment and let us know! :-)) But I do know I am much more relaxed and peaceful when I pray and I welcome/invite paradox into my marketing efforts.

Find me here:

http://www.marydemuth.com
http://www.twitter.com/marydemuth
http://www.thewritingspa.com
http://blog.myfamilysecrets.org

Writing without immediate reward

2010-03-02T09:17:00.002-06:00

I wrote about this today over at The Master's Artist. Catch it here.

AFP: Write from the inside out

2010-03-02T04:46:00.005-06:00

I recently went through old posts on relevantblog, trying to find the best posts. I unearthed this one written the summer of 2005 that, I believe, still speaks to us as writers and Christ followers today. I pray it's a blessing to you.

*****

I experienced an isolated instance at ICRS (International Christian Retail Show, held yearly) that highlighted the bleakness of the biz. I won't go into detail, but what I came away with was this thought: I wonder who is writing these books.
On the flip side (before I make my argument), I want to say I've met the most amazing people who are writers for the CBA. My very best friends in the whole world write lovely prose for CBA readers. They pray for me, love me well, and (as in the case of funny-girl Jeanne Damoff) make me laugh. Such great folks!!!

I listened to a sermon by my friend JR Vassar who is planting a church in Manhattan. He talked about good trees producing good fruit and bad trees producing rotten fruit. I wonder how many of us are good trees? From what I experienced, I could tend to despair that there are writers who put words to page whose hearts are dark, whose trees are bad to begin with.
I taught at Mount Hermon Christian Writer's Conference on this topic: It's what inside that counts.

Good writing flows from a good heart.
Redemptive writing flows from a redeemed heart.
Courageous writing flows from an unafraid heart.
Humble writing flows from a broken heart.
Authentic writing flows from a real heart.

We can't fake it. Sure, we can try to pen important words for important audiences, but if our heart is dark, we're guilty of lying at worst, pretending at best. I don't want to be what Jesus accused the Pharisees of being: whitewashed tombs. I don't want to say deep, pithy words that I don't mean or I don't live out. If I do that, I'm enslaving others by my self-appointed rules from the outside in.
Everything flows from our hearts. It's not so much what we put in that defiles us as what comes out. Consider Jesus' words: "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man" (Matthew 15:18-20).

Jesus is saying that it's not what we appear like on the outside that defiles us. It's not our dirty hands, in other words. It's what's inside. And eventually, what is inside will be known to all.

I hope and pray the CBA is not full of whitewashed tombs, writers parading around with clean hands and darkened hearts. I hope and pray it's not all about our own ministry, our own glory, our own brand, our own corner of the Christian market share, our own niche. I pray it's about honest pilgrims with honest hearts penning honest, life-giving words for the sake His renown, He who is the Author of all words, of all redemptive stories.

And yet, as I write this I am acutely aware of my own sins that parade themselves in front of me shouting mockery. Who am I to write anything? I am needy, terribly fragile at times, self-absorbed. I am one who loves to outwardly shun praise but inwardly relish it. My feet are clay. My heart strays. My words ring hollow. I guess the only true hope for me and other writers like me is the astounding grace of Jesus. And the strength of Him who was perfectly right with the Father. I can only run to His arms when I'm a whitewashed tomb. It's only He who cleanses me from the inside out, Who makes my words and heart coexist in harmony.

I'm reminded of the simple words, "Behold the Man," spoken by Pilate in John 19:5. Jesus stood, nearly naked, yet wrapped in a mocking robe and a slicing crown. His outside was not lovely, at least by human standards, but his heart was perfectly clean. He, bloodied, stood as the embodiment of authenticity. I wonder how many of us are that willing to be seen as we are. I wonder how many of us would pull the robe defensively around our souls, afraid to show what is inside? I know I'd be afraid.
So, yes, we should strive for authenticity from the inside out. Hiding emaciates our prose. I pray, especially as I write this, that we'd be ready to hear, "Behold the writer," whispered by the scarred Savior, who bore our evasive and hidden sins on the tree. And that we could stand covered in the robe of His grace, ready to share the story with the world.

It's baaack: Your questions answered

2010-03-01T05:43:00.003-06:00

After seeing how great you were critiquing our old work, it's time to switch back to more education. We want to be accessible to you and take your questions. In the comment section, please ask a question that's been niggling you about the writing industry, writing in general, or the process of getting published. In the next several months, we'll answer your questions every Monday. Ask away!

pitch to me--Medical Memoir or Manual?

2010-02-26T04:59:00.053-06:00

Today’s Pitch to Me is brought to you by Leslie Wilson—editor, humor author and speaker—one of the mentors at The Writing Spa.

julane writes: Thank you for this opportunity.

In a world that demands answers, clamors for the right to know all things, and has access to information never before equaled in the history of man. . .life, for some, has come to a screeching, whiplashing halt. They’ve been given the news their child has an incurable disease. Help! We’re Stuck On A Rumble Strip is targeted to this specific audience while it chronicles the 22 year journey of our family as we traveled from one bump to another with our two daughters who had an incurable neuromuscular disease. Through very honest and personal anecdotes, blurbs from extended family who caravanned with us, and wisdom from God’s word, this book will be one that will bring humor, help and hope no matter where they might be on their journey.

Parents of children with incurable diseases rarely travel alone. For many there are issues with other children, grandparents, extended family, friends, teachers. If more than one child in the family has been diagnosed they deal with the differing progression of disability, separate crises, and distinct personalities while trying to maintain balance with other family members. Help! We’re Stuck On A Rumble Strip will address those issues and seek to share lessons we gleaned while in waiting rooms, slipping down precipices into valleys so deep we couldn’t see the bottom, or being plunged into tunnels so dark no light was discernable. Most of all, this book will give families permission to ask the hard questions, shake their fists, grieve and giggle.

Hi Julane,

Thanks for allowing me to analyze your pitch. First of all, let me just say WOW! What a journey you've taken! Though I haven't yet seen the movie, your topic reminds me of the new Harrison Ford film, Extraordinary Measures. If your book has any similarities, you might mention the film. At the very least, it could give an editor or agent a point of reference.

In terms of pitching a project, you do a nice job identifying your audience. Be sure you let the powers-that-be know exactly how you intend to reach this group of people. Do you have a large (and growing) blog following? Are you plugged into a support group for neuromuscular disease? Do you know medical professionals who could help you spread the word?

Be sure you clearly define the scope of this project. Is it a memoir? Is it an instruction manual on dealing with terminally ill children? Is it a resource to help folks find medical professionals? That's still a little fuzzy in my mind.

Finally, you mention that the book will employ humor to help people cope. And you add at the end of the pitch that the book gives families in crisis the opportunity to giggle. Based on the rest of this pitch, these references seem a bit tacked on. On its face, this appears to be a serious book about a heart-wrenching topic. If you want to expand that to include humor, I think you need to infuse the entire pitch with more of those very elements.

Hope this has been helpful.
God bless!
Leslie Porter Wilson

What if you become "famous"?

2010-02-25T08:09:00.000-06:00

I wrote a post about diminishing pride and serving others, particularly as it relates to writers here. Stop on by.

Free Critique Per Week: Strong words

2010-02-25T05:27:00.005-06:00

A critique by D'Ann Mateer, fiction mentor at The Writing Spa.

julane said...
Prologue to first book of new series--while I am waiting on word from the first. :) not enough space for full paragraph.

Missouri Territory 1815

Leeza Dey arched her back as familiar pain coursed through her body. She had been through this before, but never so alone. Lightning snaked across the sky and for an instant lit the small room enough to reveal the faces of four little ones huddled next to her. She waited for the crash of thunder before releasing the scream which helped, for a moment, to relieve the anguish of birthing.

Comments and deletions in red. Additions in green. Weak verbs in blue.

Missouri Territory 1815

Leeza Dey arched her back as familiar pain coursed through her body. She had been through (maybe "endured" would be stronger) this before, but never so alone. Lightning snaked across the sky and for an instant (this is implied, because we know the light of lightning doesn't linger) lit the small room enough to reveal the faces of four little ones huddled next to her. (next to her bed, maybe? is she lying down? standing? sitting?) She waited for the crash of thunder before releasing the scream which helped, for a moment, to relieve the anguish of birthing, even if for a moment.

Very nice opening. Strong words and a good sense of the situation. I wish you'd had room for the full paragraph! Great job.

TWC: Little Editing Secret: Read your work aloud.

2010-02-24T05:37:00.003-06:00

Last summer I flew to Nashville to record the Thin Places' audio book. This was my first time reading for a book, and the whole process proved to be enlightening. Afterward, I realized that if every author read their work aloud, they'd improve dramatically? How? Four ways.

Reading the book aloud, I found four errors. Remember that a traditionally published book goes through several phases of editing. The substantive edit is the biggie where the editor tells you your macro problems (leaps of logic, if a novel: story issues, lack of clarity, poor research, etc.) Then the book goes through a line edit where grammar issues arise. After that, you read through it again, then you receive the galleys to also proofread. So you're typically looking at the manuscript four times, not to mention all the editorial eyes on the piece. Thin Places had been through all four of these stages, and yet as I read aloud, I caught blaring errors. I've emailed them to the publisher. Thankfully, the book is not yet in print, so it's easily fixable.
You find your pet words. Who knew I used the word "penchant" way too much? Or "mess"? Editors do catch these things, but sometimes they don't. At this point in the game, I can't replace my extra words, but I do wish I'd have read it out loud first so I knew.
You catch awkward sentence structure. Nothing is better than articulating your sentences out loud to catch clunky wording. I stumbled a few times, having to re-read the sentence or paragraph to make it work. Had I read the entire manuscript out loud, I'd have caught these.
You catch repetitive themes. I realized how much I wrote about how hard it is for me to justify my existence on this earth, how very broken and needy I was/am. How my insecurity bleeds into my life. (Of course, this is dependent on the type of book you've written. Since mine is a memoir, these are the kinds of things I find.)

If you truly want to grow, change and become an excellent writer, I highly recommend reading your work out loud. Sure, you risk your family thinking you're bonkers, but at least you'll be a better writer (crazy, yes, but better!)

AFP: Lisa Crayton on Diversity in your Prose

2010-02-23T04:57:00.012-06:00

Today I'm privileged to have author and editor (and so many other things!) Lisa Crayton writing about an important topic--inclusiveness and sensitivity for writers.

First, learn what is considered stereotypical for a group, and then try to shy away. This is important because so many stereotypes have leaked into our media (TV, print, video, etc.) that we come to think of them as norm for a group, when actually they may be offensive.

For example, not all blacks have a "'hood" (inner city) experience, or use inner city/urban terminology. So including this background in a book, without any grounding for it, could be offensive. At least that's what I thought about a recent novel I read in which the black character is a prominent figure. That character is wealthy, well-educated and never lived in the inner city, and doesn't use inner city vernacular. Why then at one point that character calls the white friend "sistah" and uses other slang? It was so OUT OF CHARACTER for the character and had no apparent purpose in moving the story forward that I could only deemed it as stereotypical. I had to close the book for a day or so. Funny thing is I know the author well (personally) and I know that individual is committed to multi-cultural communities and ministers in the inner city, as well as among wealthy blacks, etc., so I don't know how that slipped into the novel.

Second, ask yourself, "Why did I include that?" Did you do it to make your character seem more authentic? If so, ask yourself whether that authenticity promotes a stereotype that is better left out of your work. Don't include a stereotype into your work to make it seem more authentic to your readers who may have certain perceptions about different groups UNLESS your work is trying to debunk that stereotype by book's (or article's) end.

Third, encourage co-writers to shy away from stereotypes.

Fourth, allow other cultures to be the "heroes" in your prose. For example, in a book with multi-national characters or which takes place in another country, Americans don't always have to defeat the enemy or save the day.

Fifth use multi-cultural, multi-national "first" readers. If you're writing about another culture consider asking friends (including online ones), or family to read your work. Invite them to point out anything that seems offensive, or raises a red flag. Then be willing to rewrite based on feedback. Many times I read novels, for example, and wonder if the author skipped this step or deemed it not important.

Your turn: D'Ann Mateer's writing from the days of yore

2010-02-22T05:02:00.001-06:00

This one is from another old short story, Issues of the Heart:

A quick brush of the teeth, a whisk of a brush through her hair, Tricia paused only a moment more to add a touch of lipstick before dashing to the kitchen and pouring the steaming black liquid into her tall, stainless steel travel mug. She savored the first bitter sip before grabbing her purse and digging for her cell phone, shutting the door behind her with her foot.

Tricia automatically placed the key in the ignition and backed out of the garage. Hands shaking, she tossed the unmanageable cell phone into the passenger seat before placing both hands on the wheel.