Pitch to me: Pastor's Wives

Steena Holmes said: Hi Mary. I've learnt a lot from your blog, thanks for everything you post on here.

My comments and deletions are in red, additions in green.

Being unforgettable is a hard life to live, but pastors' (possessive) wives do it every day. Sure, they are upfront and presentable on Sunday's (This is not possessive; it's plural), and during the ladies meetings and any other time they have to fill in someone else's (This is possessive) shoes, but every other time they are invinsible (This is mispelled, invincible). (Not sure I'm getting what you're saying here. Not all pastor's wives act this way or do this. Avoid generalizations). As Christians we assume that the mandate for us is different than for our pastors. While it's ok (either OK or okay) for us to place God first, then our marriage (assuming we are married) and then us, we expect our pastors to place the church first, then God, and everything else in between with his family being last. While anecdotal, you need to back this up with real statistics. Some pastors aren't this way, and this would be an offensive thing to read for a pastor like that. Try to avoid making oversweeping generalizations.

From a pastor's wife perspective, I'd like to write a quirky, humurous (mispelled: humorous) but truthful 'story' on what it means for (wrong word here. I think you mean "to") be married to the pastor - who is then married to the church. What do you think?

First, in a pitch, you need to have a title. And a hook. And an audience. All in about fifty words. Who is the audience for this book? Would non-pastor's wives pick it up? Why would they? What about this book makes it unique? What does it teach the reader that she hasn't already known? And what about stereotypes? None of the churches I've been in have these stereotypical pastor's wives.

Also, if you're going to pitch something, or write it out in a query, it must be perfect. No mispellings. No grammatical errors. Run a spell check before you send anything out, and have another set of eyes look at it. Unfortunately, and I know it's not your intention, this pitch comes across as unready. An editor or agent would immediately pass it over because of the errors.