Free Critique Per Week: Who is He?

This comes from Steena Holmes:

I know how important it is to grab the reader and I want to make sure this does it.

Footsteps pounded down the alley forcing him run harder, searching for a place to hide. Five meters ahead lay a large green garbage bin that overflowed with refuse long forgotten. Squeezed between the wall and the bin, he fought back the need to gag and held his breath. Several more footsteps joined in with the first solitary step that he heard. Daring to peek around the corner of the garbage bin, what he saw caused terror to seep through his very being.

There before him stood three vicious looking bikers. One carried a baseball bat; the others looked like they lifted trees for a hobby. He quickly looked around to see if there was any other way of escape. He was determined to become invisible. Having those three thugs find him was definitely not on his ‘to do’ list for the day.

The day was supposed to have been filled with picking up donations for the charitable organization he ran, and having lunch with his fellow colleagues. This morning, armed with a mug of strong black coffee, he settled in for the drive to the city. He forgot the directions to the warehouse back at home, and found himself driving mindlessly around hoping to see a familiar landmark. Instead what he found caused him to run in desperation.

My deletions and comments are in red. Additions in green.

Footsteps pounded down the alley forcing him run harder, searching for a place to hide. Five meters ahead (Is he in the USA or Europe? If USA, he'd use yards.) lay a large green garbage bin that overflowed with refuse long forgotten. (If someone's running and looking for a hiding place, he'd not take note of "refuse long forgotten." Too poetic for a suspenseful scene.) Squeezed between the wall and the bin, he fought back the need to gag and held (awk. because you have "to" here which seems to indicate a series, to gag, to hold) his breath. Several more footsteps joined in with the first solitary step that (You can often get away with deleting "that"). he heard. Daring to peek around the corner of the garbage bin, what he saw caused terror to seep through his very being. (If this is the beginning of a book, you'll want to name "he"; otherwise, the reader will feel extremely distant from your protagonist.)

There before him stood Three vicious looking bikers stood before him. One carried a baseball bat; the others looked like they lifted trees for a hobby. He quickly looked around to see if there was any other find a new escape route way of escape, determining to . He was determined to become invisible. Having those three thugs find him was definitely not on his ‘to do’ list for the day.

The day was supposed to have been filled with picking up donations for the charitable organization he ran, and having lunch with his fellow colleagues. (This sentence needs to be reworked without was, ran, and monotony. How about: This morning, the day held promise--picking up donation for his charity and having lunch at Maggio's.) This morning, armed with a mug of strong black coffee, he settled in for the drive to the city. He forgot the directions to the warehouse back at home, and found himself driving mindlessly around hoping to see a familiar landmark. Instead what he found caused him to run in desperation.(This flashback slows the action waaaay down. Instead play the whole thing out in real time. Start his day, then plunge him into the action.)